This article exists as part of the online archive for HuffPost Australia, which closed in 2021.
NewsNews

Best Dad's Jokes For Fathers Day

These Jokes Are So Dad, They're Good
By 

Associate Lifestyle Editor, HuffPost Australia

MODERN FAMILY - Emmy and Golden Globe Award-winning 'Modern Family' returns for its fourth season, WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 26 (9:00-9:31 p.m., ET) on the ABC Television Network. In the Season 4 premiere, 'Bringing Up Baby,' Jay's birthday is upon us again and, as before, he makes it well-known that he wishes to keep it as low key as possible, with no grand gestures or surprises. But leave it to the family to miss the mark yet again! Phil takes Jay on a very unconventional fishing trip with his buddies, and Gloria struggles with how to break the pregnancy news to him. Meanwhile, Dylan moves into the Dunphy household temporarily, and Mitch and Cam decide to look into adopting a cat as they continue to cope with their failed attempt to adopt another child. (Photo by Peter 'Hopper' Stone/ABC via Getty Images)ARIEL WINTER, TY BURRELL, SARAH HYLAND, NOLAN GOULD, REID EWING
Peter
MODERN FAMILY - Emmy and Golden Globe Award-winning 'Modern Family' returns for its fourth season, WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 26 (9:00-9:31 p.m., ET) on the ABC Television Network. In the Season 4 premiere, 'Bringing Up Baby,' Jay's birthday is upon us again and, as before, he makes it well-known that he wishes to keep it as low key as possible, with no grand gestures or surprises. But leave it to the family to miss the mark yet again! Phil takes Jay on a very unconventional fishing trip with his buddies, and Gloria struggles with how to break the pregnancy news to him. Meanwhile, Dylan moves into the Dunphy household temporarily, and Mitch and Cam decide to look into adopting a cat as they continue to cope with their failed attempt to adopt another child. (Photo by Peter 'Hopper' Stone/ABC via Getty Images)ARIEL WINTER, TY BURRELL, SARAH HYLAND, NOLAN GOULD, REID EWING

Here's the thing about Dad jokes -- they have to be punny.

For those not in the know, a dad joke to a Dad is what a trunk is to an elephant -- in other words, pretty much their defining feature.

Here are the rules. A true Dad joke must:

  • Be spoken by a dad

  • Ideally include a pun

  • Be totally lame

  • Make all offspring want to groan 'Daaaaaaaaaad'

  • Be secretly awesome just like Phil Dunphy.

In anticipation of Father's Day this year, we at The Huffington Post Australia (with some help of the Dad Joke of the Day Facebook site) have rounded up our favourites.

Enjoy.

ULTIMATE DAD JOKES

  • My wife said she's leaving me because of my Facebook addiction. I didn't like that comment.

  • There's nothing worse than getting run over by a rental car. It Hertz.

  • I broke my finger today. But on the other hand I am completely fine.

  • Whenever I want to start eating healthy, a chocolate bar looks at me and Snickers.

  • I found a lion and witch in my wardrobe and asked them what they were doing they said, "Narnia business."

  • I hate it when people ask me what I'll be doing in five years time. Seriously, I don't have 2020 vision.

  • All the gym junkies moaning about the newbies in January. Get over yourselves, you didn't see us moaning when you came to use our pubs in December.

  • Steak puns. They're a rare medium, well done.

  • Why are there pirates? Because they just arrrr.

  • What's Forrest Gumps's computer password? 1Forrest1

And, this reporter's personal favourite:

A mushroom goes up to a girl in a club and asks her if she wants to dance.

Girl: "Are you kidding? You're a mushroom!"

Mushroom: "Heyyy! I'm a FUN GUY!"

*Editor's note:

Related

News
Close
This article exists as part of the online archive for HuffPost Australia. Certain site features have been disabled. If you have questions or concerns, please check our FAQ or contact support@huffpost.com.