Here's the thing about Dad jokes -- they have to be punny.
For those not in the know, a dad joke to a Dad is what a trunk is to an elephant -- in other words, pretty much their defining feature.
Here are the rules. A true Dad joke must:
- Be spoken by a dad
- Ideally include a pun
- Be totally lame
- Make all offspring want to groan 'Daaaaaaaaaad'
- Be secretly awesome just like Phil Dunphy.
In anticipation of Father's Day this year, we at The Huffington Post Australia (with some help of the Dad Joke of the Day Facebook site) have rounded up our favourites.
ULTIMATE DAD JOKES
- My wife said she's leaving me because of my Facebook addiction. I didn't like that comment.
- There's nothing worse than getting run over by a rental car. It Hertz.
- I broke my finger today. But on the other hand I am completely fine.
- Whenever I want to start eating healthy, a chocolate bar looks at me and Snickers.
- I found a lion and witch in my wardrobe and asked them what they were doing they said, "Narnia business."
- I hate it when people ask me what I'll be doing in five years time. Seriously, I don't have 2020 vision.
- All the gym junkies moaning about the newbies in January. Get over yourselves, you didn't see us moaning when you came to use our pubs in December.
- Steak puns. They're a rare medium, well done.
- Why are there pirates? Because they just arrrr.
- What's Forrest Gumps's computer password? 1Forrest1
And, this reporter's personal favourite:
A mushroom goes up to a girl in a club and asks her if she wants to dance.
Girl: "Are you kidding? You're a mushroom!"
Mushroom: "Heyyy! I'm a FUN GUY!"