Hens Party Do's And Don'ts -- Celebrate The Bride, Don't Humiliate Her

04/10/2015 10:52 PM AEDT | Updated 15/07/2016 12:50 PM AEST
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Ladies, let's be real. Nobody really wants to drink their cocktail out of a penis straw.

Many of us also don't want to suck alcohol out of a stranger's sweaty belly button or have said sweaty stranger grind up on us while all our friends gather around screaming hysterically and take pictures.

All in all, it's time to grow up when it comes to throwing a hen's party and basically, that means the whole penis shtick is out.

Goodbye, penis.

In order to better understand the etiquette of the modern day hens party, The Huffington Post Australia spoke to founder of events company White Rabbits Project, Bree Gomberg, to find out her ultimate do's and don'ts.

Hint: if the bride says she doesn't want a stripper, she probably really, actually doesn't.

"Generally nowadays everyone is over the stripper thing," Gomberg told The Huffington Post Australia. "It’s not cool. Invariably they rock up and they are not ripped and not as great as the photos show, anyway. And anything alluding to the penis -- the penis straw, the penis games -- is out."

"To be honest, girls just want to go out, have a nice lunch or dinner, have a bit of a drink and a dance with their girlfriends. It's very much about going back to basics."

She also makes the very valid point that, while activities are fun, a group of adult women probably don't need to carve the future groom's face into a pumpkin to have fun.

Games are out.

"I kind of think, when it comes to games, 'do we really need to have this distraction? Can’t we be in the same room and hang out and have fun and talk?' You can spend the money on other things," Gomberg said. "It's a bit too-hard basket now. It’s a bit done."

"The modern hen's day party is about getting rid of all the bells and whistles. Simplifying it."

Another factor to take into account is budget. While you might be happy to fork out serious money for your childhood bestie's night of nights, her new friend from work with two kids and a mortgage might not be down with a three-day extravaganza.

"I think the budget does need to be considered. Often the people in your girlfriend circle tend to be on a similar bracket in terms of income but it gets interesting when someone has kids or has bought a house," Gomberg said. "You need to be considerate of everyone, and be conscious of everyone's position and situation in life."

"One option is to have a schedule, because everyone's lives are different with different commitments, whether that be kids, dogs, parents, whatever. Put a schedule together so people have options. Give everyone lots of warning and make sure you communicate. It's a good idea to keep everyone in the know so it's an even playing field."

"And if anyone can't come, don’t make anyone feel uncomfortable or guilty about it."

If it can be organised, both within budget and time restraints, Gomberg says a weekend away is a great option, especially if not everyone have met yet.

"I think it's really nice to have that space to hang out with out the guys around, an to provide the opportunity for everyone to get to know each other if they haven't already," Gomberg said. "Chances are, if they get on with the bride, invariably they will get on with on another."

In terms of themes -- a hen's is not a dress-up party. Gomberg suggests ditching the all-out garb for a simpler motif such as asking guests to wear all one colour (white and black have proved popular in celebrity circles).

This is not an appropriate hen's outfit.

Gomberg also implores bridesmaids to ditch the bride-to-be sash (or any other sash, for that matter) and to remember the day should be about celebrating the bride rather than humiliating her.

"A hens is really different to a bucks party, and it's important to keep that in mind," Gomberg said. "With a bucks it's all about what the boys want to do -- it's never about the groom."

"With a hens party, it should be something that she will really enjoy and look back at fondly. Think about what she likes, and even if it's not your thing, think about how you can incorporate it into the day."

"It's really rare to get really good girlfriend time these days, so make sure her hens party counts."

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