Australian tennis is having a civil war. That's the big thing we learned this weekend. We lost a Davis Cup tie to America? Not good, but we'll all recover. Whether Bernard Tomic and Nick Kyrgios can ever reconcile is another issue.
So Bernie was losing his tennis match to world number 11 John Isner. Oh, how Bernie was losing his tennis match....
Bernard Tomic down set point pic.twitter.com/DgetjgTYuZ— Ricky Dimon (@Dimonator) March 6, 2016
Yeah, not good. And neither was this.
Tomic to Kyrgios: "While I'm here, Nick's sitting down in Canberra. Bulls*** he's sick". https://t.co/XAw0EE8PJX— Anthony Colangelo (@AnthColangelo) March 6, 2016
Kyrgios, who missed this Davis Cup tie through injury, replied thus, referring to the upcoming tennis tournament in the city of Indian Wells, California.
Heat of the moment, not gonna take it personally. Indian wells a week away, plenty of time.— Nicholas Kyrgios (@NickKyrgios) March 6, 2016
Just don't expect me to have your back anytime soon.— Nicholas Kyrgios (@NickKyrgios) March 6, 2016
Tomic looked totally outclassed against Isner, whose serve often was often well above 200 km/h. Indeed Tomic won just four points in the first two sets against the giant American's serve.
But Tomic was even more soundly defeated by Nick Kyrgios in the Twitter battle. He deleted the below tweet from his account, but not before US tennis writer Ben Rothenberg had picked it up and saved it for posterity.
Nick Kyrgios strikes back at Tomic (28 minutes is the answer, remember), deletes, placates. Good golly these blokes. pic.twitter.com/lVkKJF1AGh— Ben Rothenberg (@BenRothenberg) March 6, 2016
We don't expect either player to bow out of this contest any time soon.
The cricket season won't go away either. Cricket never goes away these days. It has has an increasingly busy 12-month calendar these days, with the World Twenty20 imminent. That's why Australia is currently playing South Africa in three warm-up matches.
We lost the first match. Then last night, a little cricket miracle occurred, which very much vindicated the decision of the selectors to move Dave Warner to the middle order. Australia had been set 205 to win. Warner and Glenn Maxwell had both made 70-something to get us within coo-ee.
Here's the last ball. Two runs needed to win...
Yea, Mitchell Marsh just did something right with the bat. Good to see.
Esky wrestling is also good to see. It's apparently a sport now. Well that's the only conclusion we draw after watching this unusual video of the NRL's Wests Tigers celebrating victory over the New Zealand Warriors.
TEAM SONG — Cheer along with the boys loud and proud as the belt out the team song following last night’s win! https://t.co/o8D006DbO9— Wests Tigers (@WestsTigers) March 5, 2016
Interestingly your correspondent interviewed Tigers captain Aaron Woods last week, who said he can't wait to have a beer or two with the boys. Let's just hope he took the beers out before the esky got slammed. Oh and if you're wondering why the team which narrowly avoided the NRL wooden spoon last year is celebrating, it's because this happened.
Also in NRL, Mitchell Pearce's team the Sydney Roosters are bottom of the ladder after a heavy 42-10 loss to the resurgent Rabbitohs.
Meanwhile there's a lovely video on the AFL website which celebrates the life of Geelong great Paul Couch, who sadly passed away on the weekend.
In other stuff, Leicester extended its English Premier League lead to five points after beating Watford 1-0. NFL legend Peyton Manning, who last month won the Super Bowler with the Denver Broncos, looks like retiring. Here's a ridiculously comprehensive list of all his achievements. And a bunch of brutal UFC stuff happened, as it generally does.
Oh, and this is weirder than the weird Christmas gift your weird auntie gave you last year. Ice hockey hair is a thing. A bad thing. A scary thing. A Minnesota thing, it would seem. But definitely a thing. Eek! Sorry to do that to you on a Monday.