Before Rhonda and Ketut, there was Jan and her failure to place an ad in the Yellow Pages.
Welcome to the simpler, rosier times of 80s, 90s and noughties Australia, where 'skipping' an ad to watch a cat video was simply not an option. In fact, not only was sitting through the ad break a non-negotiable part of watching
'A Country Practice' quality Australian content, it could also be pretty entertaining.
Of course, not all of the commercials were exactly worthy of a spot during the Super Bowl (though a couple of guys yelling "AT LOWES" will always have a special place in this reporter's heart), there have been some absolute gems that deserve ongoing recognition -- not only selling for whatever product they were spruiking, but for becoming quotable classics remembered years after first going to air.
Here are some of our absolute favourites.
Not happy, Jan (2000)
Poor, poor Jan. One mistake and it becomes a national catch-cry.
The curse of women named Jan across the nation, this golden Yellow Pages offering has gone far beyond being just an ad, but a part of our very national identity.
Put your hands together for The Yellow Pages for giving us not only Jan, but this Scottish Goggomobil lover.
Credited for teaching people how to spell 'Goggomobil' around the nation.
Marge, the rains are 'ere! (1996)
When McCain's proved beyond any doubt a) kids are cruel and b) corn is best eaten out of your bedroom window.
SOLO MAN (1986)
Just in case you were wondering, no, the caps lock button was not hit by mistake. SOLO MAN is worthy of capitals because SOLO MAN kayaks down (not really rapid) rapids, rocks a sick 80's 'tache and gulps his Solo down fast.
Ten bucks says you're singing "decore, re, re" for at least an hour after watching the below. Sure, it might not be the most informative of ads, but it's bloody catchy.
Make those bodies sing! (1994)
Want to get the Decore song out of your head? No worries. Australian Bananas has your back.
Tim Tam Genie (1994)
Before Cate Blanchett was famous, she was just a girl who wanted a never-ending pack of Tim Tams. (Don't we all?)
Just Squeeze (1995)
Did men ever go to the gym wearing bright orange bike shorts? According to Quelch they did, with each bottom meant to resemble a juicy just-squeezed orange.
Extra points go to the 90s gym headband and grape fruit pun. (See what we did there?)
My Dad picks the fruit... (1983)
"...that goes to Cottee's! To make the cordial, that I like best!"
An oldie but a goodie.
It's a big ad (2005)
There's nothing like a beer company unapologetically splashing a lot of money around to make you thirsty.
Not only did Carlton's 'big ad' investment pay off with a slew of awards, we're guessing it succeeded in its mission to "sell some bloo-oo-oo-oo-dy beer."