Dream Stealers: The People You Hang Around With Who May Be Holding You Back

The five people you spend the most time with have the most influence in your life.

17/06/2016 4:21 AM AEST | Updated 15/07/2016 12:54 PM AEST

You might come up with what you think is a brilliant idea. You have to tell a friend, immediately, for encouragement and validation. But, no sooner than the words leave your mouth, your friend tells you why your idea will never work.

Your friend is an expert on everything, even though he might not have achieved anything of great value. Yet, you still call him your friend. The Dream Killer.

Business and leadership consultant Rowdy McLean has a theory that you become the sum of the five people you spend the most time with.

"You need to listen to the conversations you have with those people and see if they are the dream stealers and whether you need to disconnect. If there's something you want to achieve, such as start a business, you need to spend time with people who'll inspire you," McLean said.

"The Dream Stealers are the anti-cheerleaders. They're quick to tell you why you will fail, why it'll all go wrong. They don't say, 'If you manage to do it, it will be great.' They only find the negatives."

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Choose friends who will support your dreams. Let go of the friends who are always negative.

If the Dream Stealer in your life is a member of your family, it's not very easy to disconnect. But McClean suggests you control what you talk to them about, or you ask for their assistance.

"You might be wanting to lose weight. So you can tell your family member, 'I'm trying to lose ten kilos so, when we go to the shops, don't buy any junk food for me.' Ask them to become a partner to help you achieve your goals," McLean said.

Life coach and motivational speaker Kemi Nekvapil told the Huffington Post Australia it's all about finding like-minded people.

"Go outside of your usual circles where the dream you have is seen as normal, exciting and doable. If you want to run a marathon, join a marathon running group, if you want a promotion, speak to those that have a role similar to the one you want or higher and ask them how they did it," Nekvapil said.

"If you want to do anything that those around you are not engaged in, find another tribe, or allow them to find you. We cannot expect others to understand what our dreams are, and instead of trying to convince others, our energy is best used pursuing the dream."

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