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This Sweaty Olympian Is Planning The Food Coma To End All Comas

Don't block him in the supermarket aisle.

18/08/2016 10:32 AM AEST | Updated 18/08/2016 11:35 AM AEST
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Can you hurry up with the interview questions so I can GRAB A BURGER OR SEVEN?

OK, we all know sugar is terrible for us, but when you've trained endlessly for four years and your Olympic career is now over, it's probably not such a terrible thing to cut loose for a while.

Safwan Khalil just came really close to winning a medal for Australia at the Rio 2016 Olympics in the 58 kg division of the taekwondo. You might remember Safwan from our feature earlier this year with he and his partner Carmen Marton, who is also competing in the taekwondo in Rio.

No matter how Carmen goes later this week, the two plan to start a family after Rio. But first, we're pretty sure they're planning to start a really, really big stomach ache.

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You do the supermarket run. No, you!

"I just want to eat," said Khalil, who weighed in for his event at precisely at 57.9 kg, but who naturally weighs 63 or 64 kilos." I am going to eat for about a week straight because I have been dieting for the last four years."

Khalil, 30, will probably eat half of Brazil in the few days, but here's what's definitely going to be on the menu when gets home.

"Woodfired pizza is my number one go-to, so I'll start off with that, and Carmen likes a nice mushroom pasta. We'll share that which means I eat most of it.

Uh-huh, and then?

"Then we'll have a nice dessert, a nice cheesecake or something like that. And we'll pretend that we've finished, but then we'll do a nice supermarket run on the way home, and then we'll just buy all the munchies, sit down and watch TV until we fall asleep."

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Winner gets the last Malteser.

Sounds like a great plan. But what munchies exactly?

"A tub of Nutella, two packets of chips, a block of dairy milk chocolate and a bag of Maltesers. And we will down that in a night, I promise you."

To recap: Safwan Khalil is going to have pizza, pasta, cheesecake, chips, Nutella, chocolate and Maltesers, pretty much all in one marathon munching session. What could possibly go wrong after that for one with such a finely tuned body?

"Funny thing is, the more I eat the more I go to the toilet so I'm sweet. Carmen gets so jealous."

OK, that's probably a bit too much information, so let's talk about Khalil's actual event, which was ridiculously exciting. The TV networks really should cut from Friday Night Footy to taekwondo when it's a lopsided game, because this sport has the lot. It even has video score reviews.

So. What happened was, Khalil won his first fight. Then he faced some 18-year-old Thai kid who nobody really rated called Tawin Hanprab.

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And you thought taekwondo was boring.

Khalil led but lost. This tormented him.

"Being in the lead against Thailand and then letting him hit me with that stupid spin, which I've honest worked on time and time again in training. There was all this mumbo-jumbo going on in my mind, and then walking off the court I was shattered," he said.

But he had another chance. Normally when you lose in a fighting sport, you're eliminated. But taekwondo has a cool rule, where if the guy who beats you makes it to the final, you get another go. That's what happened, and Khalil had to win two fights to claim bronze. That was the equation.

He was valiant against his Korean opponent. But you could just see he was mentally and physically spent. His loss was narrow but a loss it was. This was the moment that sealed his fate.

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And with that, he was quite literally kicked out of the competition.

Which was a terrible blow for a really admirable Australian Olympian who did himself and his country proud, but excellent news for the guy running the burger stand out the back of Carioca I Stadium.

For the record, the Chinese fighter Zhao Shuai beat the Thai fighter in the final to claim gold. And in other news, the acronym for the World Taekwondo Federation is the WTF.

WTF???

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