We Blind Taste-Tested 13 Milk Chocolate Brands

"If someone gave me that chocolate as a present I would chuck it straight in the bin."

02/09/2016 2:52 PM AEST | Updated 05/09/2016 10:24 AM AEST

HuffPost Australia

Chocolate is much like wine. Everyone has their favourite type, certain taste and brand preferences, and ones they really dislike. There are even select people who actually hate it altogether (why, though?).

But how much does our chocolate preferences have to do with the price, our memories of it or even the packaging?

To road test 13 different dairy milk chocolate products of varying price points, we enlisted the expertise of two randomly selected staff here at The Huffington Post Australia to enjoy some chocolate (hard, we know) and share their thoughts on each chocolate -- all while blindfolded.

For the purposes of this taste test (and to allow them to disguise their shame at a few of their responses), we shall call the two taste testers Jane and Bob.

We asked Jane and Bob to rate each milk chocolate out of 10 and to guess whether it was cheap, low-range, mid-range or hella fancy.

We should preface this blind taste test by saying that Jane really loves chocolate with a good melting factor, while Bob's favourite, FAVOURITE, chocolate is Cadbury dairy milk chocolate -- or is it?

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1. Lindt Lindor milk chocolate -- $4.70

Jane: Ohhh, I love a soft centred chocolate. I like that this one instantly melts into your mouth and releases its caramel goodness. It's a bit too quick to melt, though. And the caramel is a tiny bit overcooked. I would give that six out of 10 and my guess is that it's mid-range.

Bob: It has a very surface smooth surface area. I was sure it was Lindt when I first bit into it -- it tasted a bit Lindt-y -- but now I'm not so sure. I didn't like it towards the end. Ehh, I'd give it five out of 10 and I think it's mid-range.

Average score: 5.5/10

2. Haigh's milk chocolate -- $10.10

Jane: It's got an unconventional shape. Almost like a parallelogram.

Bob: It's really thin. And it's far too sweet. I find the sweetness insists upon itself. Yep, I think cheap. I give it a 3.5 out of 10.

Jane: Mmm, it's got quite a nice sweet creaminess to it. I like the sweetness. I think it's got a gentle melting time -- it's not too quickly or slowly. I'm going to mid to high-range. I don't think it's cheap chocolate. I'd give that 6.6 out of 10.

Average score: 5.05/10

3. KOKO black milk chocolate -- $8.90

Jane: It's quite a slow melter. I think the way it melts defines the chocolate. I don't mind this.

Bob: You're all about the melt, aren't you? Yeah, I like this. It's got all the elements I like but it's a little too sweet.

Jane: I like it but there's nothing exceptional about this. It's like the vanilla of chocolate. You have it because it's tastes okay. I think it's average so I would give it a five out of 10. I think it's probably cheap.

Bob: I think I know what that is. I think it's the Willy Wonka chocolate -- it tastes familiar. I remember my chocolate. It's a little on the sweet side so I give it a seven, and it's on the high side of cheap.

Average score: 6/10

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4. Aldi organic milk chocolate -- $2.49

Jane: This has got to be Lindt, I think.

Bob: I don't know where you get that from, [Jane].

Jane: I think it's got quite an unpleasant flavour. It tastes a bit like how I imagine a factory would taste like. Like the walls of a chemical processing factory. I'm going to give it three out of 10. But I think it would be quite expensive, unless it's a red herring trying to look fancy.

Bob: It does taste like some kind of product I shouldn't be eating. I would say a four out of 10, and I'd say it's mid-range.

Average score: 3.5/10

5. Green and Black's organic milk chocolate -- $4.00

Jane: The shape of this makes me think it's Australian Cadbury dairy milk. It's too aniseed-y. It actually tastes like off licorice bullets. I would give it 1.5 out of 10 but I do think it's expensive.

Bob: No, no, no. It's got a licorice flavour and I don't like licorice at all. Oh no. That's licorice masquerading as chocolate. That's fraudulent chocolate. It's like they've scraped it off licorice all shorts. It's still not one of the worst ones -- that's how bad the other ones were. One out of 10, just because the other ones were so bad. And I think it's cheap.

Average score: 1.25/10

6. Pico organic milk chocolate -- $4.75

Jane: Ohh this one's teensy...

Bob: It smells really sweet.

Jane: It kind of tastes more like a caramel than chocolate. It's either caramel flavoured chocolate or caramel. I could not eat a bar of this.

Bob: Yep, I'd agree. Yup, I don't like that. It's aggressively sweet and far too rich. Zero out of 10.

Jane: Yeah, and a bit cheap. It tastes like when you try to make caramel but it goes wrong. It's a bit burnt. I want chocolate that tastes like chocolate. Zero out of 10.

Average score: 0/10

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7. Cadbury dairy milk chocolate -- $3.50

Jane: There's like a weird packaging flavour. Also the rugged shape implies there's flavour in the centre but there isn't.

Bob: Uggh. I think this is a really cheap knock off of Cadbury dairy milk chocolate. It's something you buy at a two dollar shop.

Jane: This is the worst chocolate I have ever eaten. I'm giving it zero out of 10, and it's definitely cheap.

Bob: I really didn't like that. If someone gave me that chocolate as a present, I would chuck it straight in the bin. I'm giving in zero out of 10, and it's cheap.

Average score: 0/10

8. Hershey's milk chocolate -- $2.00

Jane: My first instinct with this is that it's pointless to have wafer thin chocolate. It's supposed to be refined but it isn't.

Bob: Can I change my last rating to a one out of 10 and give this a zero? Oh no.

Jane: This is horrible. It's like I've eaten chocolate and then got a whiff of sick. It tastes like I ate chocolate and vomited it back up. It tastes like Hershey's. It's definitely American.

Bob: I feel like I've eaten an old boiled egg. It tastes like sick. It's like you've eaten a Kinder Surprise but you've actually eaten the plastic toy and not the chocolate. I actually feel offended, annoyed and violated in some way. I can't get the taste out of my mouth. YUCK.

Jane: I give this zero. I think it's mid-range because it's American, but I think it should be free.

Bob: I agree with that score, but they shouldn't even give that away. It's punishment.

Average score: 0/10

9. Aldi's Moser Roth finest milk chocolate -- $2.79

Jane: Ooh, no. This one's got a weird flavour, as well. It melts so quickly. It's disappeared immediately.

Bob: This is too thin. I don't like this. It was like the other one -- that sick feel but less potent. When it started I had high hopes, it tasted quite nice, but the aftertaste is not very nice. I think they failed. I give it six out of 10. I would probably have it again, but I wouldn't seek it out. It's mid-range.

Jane: It's like there's something they've not put in there, or that they have too much of. I'm giving it four out of 10, and I'd say it's cheap.

Average score: 5/10

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10. Cavalier Belgian milk chocolate sweetened with stevia -- $6.90

Jane: A bit broke off with no effort from my mouth, not impressive.

Bob: It has a weird texture, very serrated. A bit aggressive. This tastes like a chocolate block of carob buds.

Jane: This taste super familiar. I think this is Australian Cadbury dairy milk. I think it's actually quite nice. No weird, tangy aftertaste. I'd give it a seven out of 10, especially in context of how horrible the other ones have been.

Bob: There's absolutely no way that's Australian Cadbury dairy milk. But it's not the worst one I've had here. I'd give that a four. I just don't like the taste of carob and for me it didn't work.

Average score: 6/10

11. Aldi's Choceur milk chocolate -- $2.49

Jane: I don't like this one. It takes a while to melt in your mouth and it's got a really heavy dairy flavour.

Bob: I didn't like it at first but I quite liked it towards the end. There almost like a hint of something that's not chocolate in there.

Jane: I think it's a cheap chocolate. I'd give it four out of 10.

Bob: I actually think it's expensive. I'm giving it a seven.

Average score: 5.5/10

12. Prestat velvety smooth milk chocolate -- $6.00

Jane: I like this one. It's a bit nutty, melts nicely. It's got a nice consistent flavour. No surprising, weird tangs.

Bob: It's slightly on the sweet side but it's the best one I've had today. I'd give it an eight out of 10. It's a bit too sweet -- the Cadbury milk chocolate I prefer isn't this sweet.

Jane: Yep, I agree, it's the best one so far. I think it's mid-range. I'm giving this eight out of 10.

Average score: 5.5/10

13. Ritter sport alpine milk chocolate

Jane: This has got a really satisfying chunkiness to it. It's quite big in the mouth. It's kind of almost flavourless, though, when it starts to melt.

Bob: To me, that tastes like someone trying to make chocolate who doesn't know how to make chocolate. It has a bad plastic aftertaste to it.

Jane: It tastes like supermarket chocolate. It sticks to the back of your throat. I would give that a three out of 10.

Bob: I would give it a two instead of a one, just because I quite enjoyed the crunch.

Average score: 2.5/10

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