The 7 Things You Should Know About Sex After 50

First of all, you no longer have to apologize for orgasming first.

27/09/2016 8:59 PM AEST | Updated 28/09/2016 2:56 AM AEST

There’s a popular perception that older people lose interest in sex over time. Not true. Studies show that many people maintain active sex lives well into their later years. For example, one recent survey found that more than half of men and almost a third of women over the age of 70 reported they were still sexually active. To prove that sexuality is alive (and lively) as we age, we turned to some of the most illuminating posts by Huff/Post 50’s bloggers about what sex after 50 is really like.


1. Sex between older women and younger men is no longer taboo.

“There are only plusses to dating younger men in my book. They generally have hair and smell nice. They know what they are going to wear and are still interested in looking good. They keep you on your toes and make you feel sexy, which makes you make an effort.” —High50 


2. But men over 50 are, often, better in bed than younger men.


“A man 50 years and older is not in a hurry. He wants to please you, and takes great pleasure in making sure that happens. He also knows there is a lot more to do in the bedroom than just regular intercourse.” — Jack Anderson


3. Soft penises are underrated.

“The number one myth of a soft cock is that the man is not feeling desire. This is simply not true. There are many reasons why a man has a limp penis before or during sexual activity that have nothing to do with his desire for you. So please do not take it as an indicator that your lover doesn’t want you. It’s sad that in our society we have been trained to believe that the sign of desire in a man is an erection. Dump that myth.” — Pamela Madsen


4. Being a dominatrix isn’t just for younger people.

“I knew that becoming a dominatrix would truly teach me to fully accept authentic, non-judgmental sexuality. I knew, however, that I struggled with the many negative social influences that cast aside expressive sexuality and especially BDSM as wrong and taboo. I didn’t want people to think I was abnormal or strange. At the same time, though, I suspected that the experience could empower me as a woman, and deep down, I somehow understood that it would set me free from my own judgmental perceptions of how women should behave and follow the ‘rules’.” — Sandra LaMorgese, a 60-year-old dominatrix


Damon Dahlen
Sandra LaMorgese, a 60-year-old dominatrix, with a client.

5. There’s no need to feel threatened by fantasies ― especially after 50.

“If you’re having sex in your 50s it might be with someone you’ve known a long time. Someone who loves you even though he’s seen you nurse your newborn on a toilet while trying to delicately deliver your first post-partum poop. And it may be someone you love even though he’s always leaving his poop in the toilet because he’s so proud of it. So if, from time-to-time, in your mind, you’re making love to Chris Hemsworth fully equipped with Thor’s Hammer or your partner tells you that Sofia Vergara just broke up with her boyfriend as he one-hands your bra clasp open, neither of you takes it personally.” ― Shannon Bradley-Colleary


6. You no longer have to apologize for orgasming first.

“As a gay guy I talk about this a lot with my female friends. They no longer feel guilt over making sure they have orgasms and are feeling good. They are no longer willing to forsake their pleasure for other men. And they are also questioning how the sex and emotional link works for them or not. Being over 50 and having sex means never having to say you’re sorry for being the first one to orgasm.” ― Michael C. Bryan


 7. Physical attraction is still HUGELY important.

“I’m on the record as saying that physical attraction remains (almost) as important at 50 or 60 as it was at 20 or 30, and even though some of us will be blessed to have working parts forever, some of us won’t. I play football and climb mountains and bike — more now than 20 years ago — because I believe in taking full advantage of the physical while I can and I know things wear out eventually.” ― Joe Seldner

A version of this story appeared in 2015.

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