SPORT

Two Washed-Up Old Men Desperately Fighting For Relevance

Kill us now.

25/10/2016 11:35 AM AEDT | Updated 25/10/2016 1:44 PM AEDT
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See you in 10 years bro, and we'll both cash in. Ha, good idea bro.

The entire sport of boxing is going nowhere, and the boxing careers of Danny Green and Anthony Mundine are going nowhere even faster.

The solution to all this? Duh. Put Green and Mundine in the ring, obviously. Reignite a decade old feud between and 43-year-old and a 41-year-old in a desperate attempt to add $10 million each to flagging bank accounts, and to resuscitate a sport being sucker-punched by the rise and rise of UFC.

Should we perhaps paint a less cynical picture of the main sport story of the day, which is being billed as the "$30 million fight of the century"? We should not, and the press conference which just took place in Adelaide -- where the bout will be staged on February 3 -- is all the evidence you need.

With a portly politician in the middle, Green and Mundine traded blows of the verbal variety. As trash talk goes, it was trash, all right. These were some really low grade exchanges.

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The infamous 2006 bout, which Mundine won on points.

"We're gonna put this shit to rest. I'm the better man, and you're gonna tell me that after I finish whipping your arse again," Mundine said.

"You hit me with everything you had [in 2006] and you s**t yourself."

"Mate, you're s**ting your pants."

And so it went. You're soiling your pants more than I am. There are arguments of a higher intellectual calibre happening at toddler daycare centres this very minute.

Yet this was the most interesting moment in a tortured 15-minute pantomime which can loosely be paraphrased thus:

"You were lucky in 2006."

"No I wasn't."

"I don't like you."

"I don't like you either."

"He's a good athlete but he's a dickhead and I'll whip him."

"He's a good athlete but he's a dickhead and I'll whip him."

So in summary, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

And one other thought, which is that Muhammad Ali would be jabbing the side of his grave in fury, because the once great art of trash talk has been reduced to absolute drivel.

ANTHONY MUNDINE

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The greatest athlete in Australian history after a loss in 2015.

  • 54 fights for 47 wins (27 by knockout) and 7 losses
  • Three time world champion (bearing in mind that the title "world champion" is effectively meaningless in boxing as there are so many weight divisions and competing organisations)
  • He once boasted: "I'm the greatest athlete ever to come out of this country."

DANNY GREEN

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He can win a staring competition, but can he still fight?

  • 40 fights for 35 wins (28 by knockout) and 5 losses
  • Two time world champion (bearing in mind that the title world champion" is effectively meaningless in boxing as there are so many weight divisions and competing organisations)
  • His website boasts: "One of the highest profile athletes in the country, Green's laconic, affable laid back nature outside the ring belies his fierce and intense demeanor inside the ropes, his devastating power and aggressive instincts have earned him the well known moniker 'THE GREEN MACHINE'."

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