COMEDY

A Drake-Taylor Swift Romance Would Be The Perfect Way To End A Horrible Year

Not the celebrity romance 2016 needs, but the celebrity romance it deserves.

29/10/2016 5:40 AM AEDT | Updated 29/10/2016 8:21 AM AEDT
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It’s hard to disagree with the idea that 2016 has been horrible. Zika. Brexit. David Bowie. Prince. Syria. Police shootings. Donald Trump’s rise. Donald Trump’s sexual assault allegations. Donald Trump’s Twitter account. 

So if we as a nation — nay, as a world — have been subjected to 10 months of horribleness throughout the course of 2016, then let’s at least end this baby right. That’s right, if we’re going to go 2016, then let’s go full 2016. And would there be any more perfect way to end it than with fucking Drake and Taylor Swift tying us to a seat and forcing us to watch as they fall madly in love?

Jeff Kravitz via Getty Images
The perfect ending to the least perfect year. 

Rumors are floating about the two after the always 100 percent factually accurate Page Six reported that Aubrey and Taylor were recently spotted in Los Angeles “intimately flirting, talking closely and laughing. The only person he spent more time with other than his mom was Taylor.”

Holy shit: Yes. This is not the celebrity romance 2016 needs, but it’s certainly the celebrity romance 2016 deserves. Let’s take two of the most (unambiguously talented but) attention-seeking celebrities this side of Calabasas, shove them together and watch as they make out like bandits when their respective singles drop and we eat it up like the sheep that we are.

It’s as if the devil himself spent five hours carefully crafting a six-scoop sundae, gently placed a cherry right at the very top and then gleefully kissed his fingers like an Italian chef.

2016 has been a hell of a year for everyone. And if we can’t have it back, at least we can have this: The two closest things we have to the personification of the current-day zeitgeist, cynically banding together to rope us in like the fools we are for their mutual financial benefit.

And to make Tom Hiddleston mad. 

We leave you with a tweet. 

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