NEWS

The Top 10 Weirdest Stories Of 2016 (And Let's Try To Leave Politics Out Of It)

In many ways, this year sucked, but not in every way.

30/12/2016 12:11 PM AEDT | Updated 30/12/2016 12:11 PM AEDT

Contrary to popular belief, 2016 wasn’t a complete, unmitigated disaster. 

Not only did the Cubs win the World Series for the first time in 108 years, a cow took on a helicopter ― and won. And sex toys were put to a new use ― fighting crime.

Indeed, 2016 had its share of winners. It’s just that the right people didn’t win. Sorry, Democrats. 

Here, now, are our picks for the year’s most memorable weird news stories.

  • 10. BADASS HEROES
    Instagram
    Not all heroes wear capes. Meet Mikaela Kellner of Sweden, an 11-year veteran of the Stockholm Police Department. When a pickpocket menaced some sunbathers in July, she snapped into action, wrestling the suspect to the ground in her bikini, after chasing him down barefoot, becoming an Instagram legend and telling the media, "Had I been naked, I would have also intervened.” In another bold act of crimefighting, adult store clerks at San Bernadino's Lotions & Lace forced an armed robber to flee empty handed in December, after hurling sex toys at the gun-toting crook.
  • ABC
  • 9. THE ANIMAL UPRISING
    Getty Images
    Humans have had their day, and they've brought this planet to the edge of ruin. We at HuffPost Weird News have long been anticipating the animal uprising. Maybe it won't be super intelligent apes. Maybe it will be this cow in Australia that took on a helicopter and left it in charred ruins.
  • 8. THE CRIMINALLY INCOMPETENT
    New South Wales Police
    A jailbreak is no time for vanity. Yet when police in Australia released Amy Sharp's mugshot, the 19-year-old replied on Facebook, asking cops to use a more flattering photo, which she included in the post. Sharp, who bolted after getting booked on a property offense, might not be so sharp.
  • 7. UNLUCKY
    Tim Wimborne / Reuters
    We all have our nightmare port-a-potty stories, but few can outdo a construction worker in Sydney, Australia, who was bitten by a poisonous redback spider on his penis as he was relieving himself.  He lived to tell the tale, but five months after the April 27 attack, at the same worksite toilet, his man bits again served as snack food for a ravenous arachnid. The little monster chowed down "pretty much on the same spot." This guy, however, endured a better fate than a 17-year-old from Mexico, who suffered convulsions at a family dinner and died after receiving what doctors believe was a fatal, stroke-inducing hickey from his 24-year-old girlfriend.
  • 6. INVISIBLE
    Darrin Klimek
    Joaquin Garcia had it made. For six years, the building supervisor from Spain was collecting a $41,000 salary at a local government office without showing up. He'd still be collecting his pay, too, if he didn't win an award for 20 years of loyal service.  In other invisibility news, the internet freaked out several weeks after the Garcia story broke, when a woman vanished during a live TV report. Some called the woman a ghost. Others suspected "alien activity." Of course, it could be Photoshop and lazy video editing.
  • Imgur
  • 5. OOPS
    Accidents will happen. One minute you're a woman losing your pants on a carnival ride, the next you're a little boy turning Santa's reindeer into penises.
  • 4. THE STUPID ELECTION
    Maury Povich/Getty
    From our point of view, there was only one winner in this election: Searcy Hayes, the 21-year-old from Natchez, Miss., who parlayed her uncanny, unsettling resemblance to Texas Sen. Ted Cruise into stardom on the Maury Povich show and a $10,000 porn deal. We'll also throw a nod to the woman who donated her pubic hair to the Trump campaign because, well, let's just not get into it.
  • 3. PROPHESY
    The Chicago Cubs, baseball's most lovable losers, hadn't won a World Series since 1908. Still, Michael Lee of California, boldly predicted in his 1993 Mission Viejo high school yearbook, "You heard it here first." And we did. 
  • 2. MONSTERS
    SWNS
    We can't go a year without overhyping Bigfoot, Nessie and other monster sightings. That's the weird news way. We also can't explain what you're actually looking at in this photo 58-year-old Ian Bremner took. We can say, however, that this monster gator, worthy of "Jurassic Park" is very, very real.
  • 1. Too Good To Be True
    JAMAL HINTON
    In case you hadn't got the memo, 2016 sucked. Still, we've got to hang on to whatever we can, like this grandma who accidently texted the wrong teen to invite him to Thanksgiving, but asked him to come nevertheless. And these teens who didn't let a little tornado ruin their prom photo. The message is clear for 2017. We won't let disaster and mayhem ruin our lives. There's always time for a happy ending.

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