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We Think We Know What Warney Is Trying To Tell Us

The real Warney, totally uncut. Apart from the hair, obviously.

07/02/2017 4:04 PM AEDT | Updated 07/02/2017 5:20 PM AEDT
Warneyuncut.com.au
Photoshopped, Shane.

The hair's not real, we know that from the ads. The teeth look lovely and white, but perhaps a little too white, so it's safe to assume they're not entirely without augmentation either.

But if the ads for Shane Warne's new show are to be believed, everything else will be totally 100 percent pure Warney.

Yes, Shane Warne has a show. About the real Shane Warne. Its title? "Warney Uncut: The Whole Truth And Nothing But The Truth".

Maybe you remember the last show about Shane Warne. It was Eddie Perfect's Shane Warne: The Musical and it was as brilliant as the ball that bowled Mike Gatting. This promises something different. This'll be Warney, on stage, telling it his own way.

But why? All Warne has to do is tweet and half the world retweets him. He commentates the cricket for Channel Nine. Why does the 47-year-old ex-cricketer need an Australia-wide tour to tell us what's on his mind? The answer perhaps lies in the blurb for the show. It reads:

Legend. Icon. Hero. Villain. Shane Warne has been called all that and more. Everyone has an opinion on Warney; many have stories to tell. But now it's time for Warney to tell his own remarkable story -- in his own words, live on stage.

Warney himself said the following at a press conference on Tuesday:

"This is the best opportunity to get everything out. People can judge whatever way they like, but I'll tell the truth, nothing but the truth, the whole truth. I'm looking forward to getting everything off my chest."

Get the idea? Warney feels a strong desire to tell his side of the story. Which story exactly? Well, it's probably something to do with the series of stories in Fairfax media last year, in which the finances of his charitable foundation were called into question. The foundation has since closed.

Reuters Photographer / Reuters
You can't do a story like this without including at least one pic of Warney back in the day.

Or it could be anything. Like who really did say "can't bowl, can't throw". We'll know more in April and May when the show tours the country. One thing we can say for sure: ticket prices could make your head spin. The cheapest are more than $100 with agency fees.

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