Newsrooms across the country came to a grinding halt on Thursday when photos of Justin Bieber sporting a curious stain surfaced online. Naturally, the image of the world’s biggest pop star strolling around Los Angeles in soaked sweatpants raised some of the most pressing questions of our time.
Is bladder control like so 2016? Was there a shortage on $400 sweatpants in the San Fernando Valley? Is this some sort of subversive political statement?
Alas, all good rumors must be put to rest. The “Purpose” singer later set the record straight with a poetic tweet explaining that the stain on his “dick area” was actually water from some flowers he had in the car.
But the ever so self-aware Bieber has apparently developed a sense of humor about himself and didn’t pass up the opportunity to poke fun at the situation. He followed up the tweet with a side-by-side comparison of himself and Billy Madison, perhaps the most famous pee-in-pants-er (the official term) in the world.
“You aint cool ... unless you pee your pants,” he wrote alongside the photo.
Finally, this long national nightmare is over.