ENTERTAINMENT

These Theories About The 'Cars' Movies Are Traumatising, Horrifying

Global genocide and brains falling out of trucks? Pixar, are you ok?

28/04/2017 10:52 AM AEST | Updated 28/04/2017 8:17 PM AEST
Pixar

One of Pixar's biggest series, the 'Cars' franchise, will be releasing its third film in just a few weeks time. Ahead of that ScreenCrush caught up with Jay Ward, the creative director of the "Cars" universe, where he revealed theories about the vehicular world that are downright terrifying.

There have always been questions about the 'Cars' films, especially from people who have never seen a single one (*raises hand*) for instance: where did all the people go? If there never were people, why do the cars have doors? If all the vehicles are alive, isn't it kinda weird when the cars travel inside a plane or truck - which is also alive? Is the 'Cars' Earth the same Earth as ours? If so, what happened to all the human and animal life? Why do the cars have tongues? If they have tongues... what else do they have?! These questions could honestly go on all day.

Well, thankfully ScreenCrush got a few theories from Ward himself, and they will NOT put your mind at ease.

Take for example, this quote about how the world came to be populated entirely by cars, and cars alone.

Yeah you heard that right, Lightning McQueen and the other cutesy car characters (caracters?) you've been rooting for may have actually played a part in the systematic killing of the human race. Actually EVERY species that isn't some kind of vehicle has been killed in a terrible "Terminator" meets "Single White Female" apocalypse where these murderous machines have absorbed the personality traits of their last owners. What kind of Edgar Allan Poe nonsense?

If that isn't bad enough, Ward went on to discuss the "rules" structuring the world of 'Cars'.

THE BRAIN AND THE EYES ARE IN THERE?! It's like someone grabbed Frankenstein's monster and strapped an exhaust pipe to his face.

Ward revealed to ScreenCrush that there is a manual, an internal document that lays out all the ground rules for everything to do with the 'Cars' universe, including the terrifying brain-spilling rules of never opening doors.

But again, the uprising of murderous, personality-absorbing cars is just ONE theory as to how this terrifying universe came to be. Apparently there's a simpler theory that we were just wiped out by a meteor. So that's swell.

'Cars 3' is scheduled to release on June 22, but we might steer clear and watch a more family-friendly flick, like "Nightmare on Elm Street".

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