We all know the Red Chair is the best part of Graham Norton’s BBC chat show, but we think he has outdone all previous contributors with this horrifying story.
The talk show host has recalled a mortifying tale involving his dog and some sex ‘debris’, after he was asked what his own embarrassing story would be if he were to take to the Red Chair himself.
Speaking at an event attended by journalists including the Daily Express, Graham said: “I do have an answer to this, but it’s a really rude story! So, what happened was this… I can’t believe I’m going to tell this.
“I had a gentleman caller and he was fine. The next morning I waved goodbye to him and slammed the door bye, bye, and that was that. I went upstairs to clean up some of the debris… things you don’t want the cleaner to find. I was putting everything away, but there was one bit of debris I could not find.
“I looked in the bin; it wasn’t there. I thought, ‘Well, I couldn’t have tried to flush that down the toilet, it must have gone. Where on earth is it?’”
He continued: “It actually got to the point where I phoned the gentleman caller and said, ‘Do you know what happened to the thing?’ and he said, ‘No, I don’t know what happened to it’. So I thought that must just be a mystery. That is a mystery!
“So that was the Monday night, Tuesday morning. Wednesday morning I was out and about in the park as usual with my dog, Bailey - quite a big Labradoodle - he did his business and I picked that up.
“I walked over and I put that in the bin and then I looked back and Bailey is lying on the ground clawing at his backside. There it was, like a great big ghostly finger hanging out of him.”
Recalling his horror at the sight of it, Graham went on: “So I had to get it out. Now, all I’ll say is no matter how stretchy you think they are, you’ve no idea! Honestly, I was half way across the park with this thing!
“I mean, it’s morning time, mothers with their children were going to school. I went, ‘No I did not have sex with my dog!’ Anyway, that would be my red chair story.”
Wow. We really don’t know how to follow that up.
Anyway, you can see more Red Chair stories on ‘The Graham Norton Show’, which airs on Fridays at 10.35pm on BBC One.