When you have guests over, itâs expected theyâll behave themselves. Unfortunately, in some cases, that just doesnât happen.
Now, Redditors have dished the goss on the weirdest things guests have done in their homes. And while one of them is incredibly sweet, the rest are either weird or just plain gross.
The Chocolate Tree
âMy family is very hospitable. Itâs common practice for my parents to offer someone a place to crash for the night or two or more. My father had met this young German couple at a rally (in NYC) and offered them a place to sleep. They didnât speak English much from what I can recall (I was in elementary school), but one day they asked my sister for some string and scissors; she didnât think anything of it but did mention how secretive they were about why they needed it.
âThey stayed only two or three days but on the last day they didnât tell anyone they were leaving. They just left a small branch from a neighbourhood park and attached to the branch with pieces of string were all these chocolate bars like Twix, Snickers, etc. With a little sign that said âthank youâ. To this day, my parents donât know who they were or what they are up to now but us kids will always remember the nice guests who left us a chocolate tree.â
The Drumstick Thief
âOne of my neighbours drank too much wine and threw up purple vomit all over the carpet. Then she fell asleep and the chicken drumsticks she stole and put in her pockets fell out beside her.â
- -inkd-
The Curtain Sniffer
âFirst time I had a buddy of mine over to play some video games he walked right past my parents and sniffed our curtains in front of them. [He then said] âHad beans for dinner did you?â
âHe was right.â
- Nim0n
The Drop And Run
âMy neighbour came over when we were in like Grade 6. I know that he spent a lot of time at his cottage in the summer and his parents were very careful with the whole âdonât flush if you donât have toâ to not needlessly run water.
âSo heâs over, goes to the bathroom. About two hours later, he leaves, and my mom comes up to me and says: âLook in the bathroom - PLEASE tell your friends to flush.â There was this giant diarrhoea/lava mess in the toilet, mixed with some solids.â
- np89
The Dry Shave
âMy friend and his ex GF (girlfriend) came over, his ex pulls out a razor and starts dry-shaving her legs in my living room, with my parents right across from her.â
- kwag91
The Bed Wetter
âWet the bed and then just made the bed up like nothing happened. It was SOAKED, and wasnât discovered until I flopped down on it. By the way, it was an adult guest.â
- Nyxtraza
The Bathroom Photographer
âOne time my ex and I had an old high school friend stay the night. We werenât super close with him, but he needed a place to stay and always seemed relatively normal. Anyway, he took a shower and was in there for like an hour. We were both wondering what the hell he was doing in there when a public pic of his boner through his boxers popped up on our Facebook feed with some raunchy tagline.
âHe was literally taking photos of his bulge in our bathroom. Worst part is even though I donât think he took a shower, he had the water running the whole time.â
The Towel Change
âHosted a dinner party of about 10 with a bunch of couples. Went to use our bathroom to find a completely different set of towels and soap set up from what we put out before everyone arrived.
âAfter pulling my better half in to take a look, we thought it too weird/funny to bring up at the table.â
The Angry Pooper
âI was babysitting a girl who was 10 at the time and Iâd been informed by her mom that she had some pretty deep anger issues. My daughter was around the same age, but had a camp to go to so she wasnât able to be home to play with this girl. I told the girl she could go use the old desktop in my daughterâs room and play some games.
âAbout 10 minutes later I heard her run down the hall and slam the door to the bathroom. I stopped what I was doing and listened and heard her SCREAM, âCALL MY MOM RIGHT NOW, I WANT MY MOM!â
âWell, this girlâs mom was a nurse and wasnât always easy to get hold of right away. I asked her through the door if she was ok and I was getting worried when she shouted, âI POOPED MY PANTS, OK!?â
âTurns out the girl had a sick stomach the whole night before and was trying to fart and instead ended up having a bad bout of diarrhoea all over my daughterâs computer chair, down the hall and in the bathroom. Obviously it wasnât really something she could control, but I had to gather her heavily soiled clothes, rinse them out and then wash them and give her some of my underwear and shorts to wear (since she was kind of a heavy girl and wouldnât have fit in my daughterâs clothes.) Her mom called me back about three hours later and just said, âWell that happens to her sometimes when she gets angry.ââ
The Clinger
âDidnt. Fucking. Leave. Invited a friend over on a Friday night to hang out for a bit. He crashed, no big deal. My wife and I had plans the next day and instead of going home, he tagged along. Ended up crashing again. Stayed the whole damn day on Sunday and FINALLY LEFT at 10pm.â
The Hallway Defecator
âMy younger sisterâs asshole boyfriend visited from Florida and stayed with my parents (sister still lived at home). The first evening he got drunk, insulted all of us and in the middle of the night pooped in the hallway, which my mom stepped in on her way to the bathroom.
âThe next morning, he blamed the cat, even though it was clearly human and which he reeked of because he never cleaned himself up. He got angry at us and caught a flight home a few hours later - still cursing the cat.
âMy sister stayed with him for two years after that. Whenever something gross happens now, we say the cat did it.â
The Genital Artist
âA friend of mine, without any warning or anything, drew about 10-15 pictures of penises and left them in various places around my apartment during a party. I kept finding them for months afterwards.
âIt became like a scavenger hunt for dick. One fell out of my boot in an airport bathroom one time. Almost a year later, I found the last one up above my top cabinets in the kitchen.â
The Blackout Incident
âA friend was over and too drunk to go home, so sleeps it off on my couch. I wake up to see her sitting on my coffee table with her pants around her ankles, urinating on the table and rug. And she is too drunk to wake up, just finishes and falls back asleep on the couch. So I clean it up.
âThe next day she is a wreck and I say nothing. And several times since Iâve heard her claim that she has never been blackout drunk or done something she canât remember.â
The Cup Swap
âLet an old friend who now lives overseas stay at our place while we were out of town, when we got home all of our coffee mugs were replaced with mugs he had printed his passport photo on. Hilarious. Different, but hilarious.â
The Dog Napkin
âWhile eating, a friend picked up my puppy, rubbed his mouth on the puppyâs belly and proclaimed he had a âdog napkinâ. We were teenagers at the time, but it was still an extremely weird thing to do.â
The Toe Nail Clipper
âGrabbed the toe nail clippers from the bathroom and proceeded to clip his toe nails in the living room. Who the fuck does that at someone elseâs house?â
The Turd Smasher
âI had friends in town from Chicago and one of them clogged my upstairs toilet. Instead of asking for a plunger or telling us (because itâs no big deal... it happens) he put his hand in it and smashed it all up.
âWe were drinking later that night and he asked where the plunger was so we told him, he said âdamn I wish I would have looked thereâ. Thatâs when we, of course, asked [what had happened]... When he told us I almost puked. I couldnât believe it!â
- jhoe89