HEALTH

This Instagram Account Is Ending The Silence Around Pregnancy Loss

20/07/2017 10:05 PM AEST

Around one in four pregnancies ends in miscarriage, yet despite the frequency of pregnancy loss, it’s still something we rarely discuss.

To end the silence and create a support network for those affected, phycologist Jessica Zucker launched the Instagram account ‘I Had A Miscarriage’, where women can submit their stories.

Zucker created the account after suffering a miscarriage herself at 16 weeks when she was pregnant with her second child. She began writing about her own experience on social media using the hashtag #IHadAMiscarriage, before inviting others to do the same. 

“My personal experience was a way to model for other women around the world that there is absolutely no shame in loss,” she told Self.

“The research overwhelmingly points to women experiencing shame, self-blame and guilt following pregnancy and loss. I had to really think it through. As a psychologist, you don’t typically share the details of your life. But [pregnancy loss] doesn’t mean anything about who you are, or your body being a failure.”

As part of the movement, Zucker has also designed t-shirts with the word ‘Mama’ written on them alongside a rainbow.

A ‘rainbow baby’ is a term often used by parents who have become pregnant after suffering a miscarriage. 

Some of the posts on the page show women proudly wearing their rainbow tees while others describe grief that is silent all too often.

Read some of their accounts below or follow ‘I Had A Miscarriage’ on Instagram to see more posts from the community. 

@translucentdreamm shares: "23 was a year of firsts for me. I would have been 15 weeks along if my little one decided to stay with me. I didn't know anything about miscarriages before my loss. It's not really something the average woman researches. So when #ihadamiscarriage I was so beside myself, confused, and in shock. I felt like the only one on earth at that time. I was angry with my body for failing me. I was even ashamed, and felt like I couldn't open up and talk about what happened. Almost as if I did something wrong. Even now it's hard to share this, even with all the acceptance and strength that I've built along the way. It's a hard battle to overcome. Not one day goes by without me thinking about that Saturday in April. Not one day goes by without me yearning and missing the feeling of beauty that I had when I was carrying my little one inside me. The thought that my body created a tiny human that was part me and part my lover was more beauty than I had ever felt in my 23 years. All of that vanishing is hard to swallow. It leaves you in a state of disparity. Today I am sharing my story and writing this in hopes to reach all the women who feel alone and misunderstood in their loss. I am sharing this to end the self-blame and the shame that comes along with it. You are not alone, I am here and so are millions of women that have been and are going through this. I don't want anyone to ever feel like they don't have someone to reach out to. You are strong, and your feelings are valid and you are capable and beautiful. I love you all. We will overcome and heal together✨💕 " _ #IHadAMiscarriage #endthesilence #1in4 #miscarriage #pregnancyloss #grief #loss

A post shared by Jessica Zucker, Ph.D. (@ihadamiscarriage) on

@motherbeastie in Ireland shares: "My children make me want to wake up in the morning, they are my life. Two years ago on April 25th 2015, my world took a very dark turn. At 15wks I found out I had lost my baby and that night everything turned from heartache to much much worse. I'll skip most of the painful details, but it's fair to say that the doctor did not thoroughly explain the severity of "passing the products of conception" OUR BABY, at 15wks. But that night at home our world got dark, and it turned into a nightmare that I now understand has left me with hints of PTSD. It's much better now, but sometimes I'm a mess. There is no "normal" miscarriage, a loss is a loss, you're losing a baby, a sweet angel now gone - and my heart broke that night and turned into fear, something went wrong and I began to heavily haemorrhage on the toilet, unable to get off. Our dear friend drove us to the hospital because the ambulance would have been too late, and I needed to have a blind procedure/minor surgery in order to stop the haemorrhage and save my life. That weekend we spent in hospital will forever be etched in my mind and heart, the way I went from always having a hand on my bump that for whatever reason we hadn't really announced properly yet. To then being terrified to touch that empty womb because it was so wrong. Our world has changed a lot since then, we have poured our tears in grief and fear, through the trauma of it all. And losing our baby more than anything else, they don't tell you that when you have a late miscarriage that you might pass your baby whole - I did. We held her, and cried over her, we prayed over her and then we buried her. Under our roses, our roses we still have, that we hold dear and every time a rose blooms we cry a little and look at it as if it was her. Our Talulah Courage, our rose that still blooms." . _ #IHadAMiscarriage #miscarriage #ptsd #pregnancyafterloss #grief #loss #1in4

A post shared by Jessica Zucker, Ph.D. (@ihadamiscarriage) on

For support after miscarriage, stillbirth or other infant loss, visit the charity Tommy’s or call The Miscarriage Association’s helpline on 01924 200799 (Mon-Fri, 9am-4pm). 

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