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Here Are The 22 Bachelorettes Vying For Matty J's Heart On 'The Bachelor' This Year

What the hell is a "love coach"?

24/07/2017 12:16 PM AEST | Updated 24/07/2017 12:18 PM AEST
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It was the moment we were all afraid of, Matty J standing in front of last year's Bachelorette, Georgia Love, when she told him she was picking the other guy. As his hands fell to his knees and he buckled in half the whole nation pretty much knew we were getting a Matty J season in 2017.

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Well the time has come for ol' MJ to go on this journey of love, roses and wistfully looking out at the ocean is just about to begin, so lets meet the 22 bachelorettes who are coming along for the ride.

Akoulina

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Akoulina is a 29-year-old gymnastics coach from Queensland. She describes herself as "dedicated, persistent, goal-driven and affectionate" as well as a "breath of fresh air". She trekked to Mount Everest base camp once, which "shaped her as a person", and she uses the word "substance" often.

A dealbreaker of Akoulina's is "if the guy hasn't got substance and has not set up his life by 30 then he is a bogan and I am not into that". She believes Scarlet Johansson would be best to play her in a movie because "she would portray all the different aspects of my life with substance".

Alix

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Alix is from New South Wales and is a 24-year-old body painter who says she gives good foot massages. She can also apparently name every Super Bowl winner from the last 50 years, and describes herself as the ultimate catch for the bachelor because she "can heckle opponents sporting teams" and enjoys pizza.

Alix is also very into the idea that a man will wake up in the morning and tell her she is beautiful without any makeup on, and her ideal man is "tall".

Belinda

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Belinda is a 34-year-old from Queensland who lists her job as "love coach" which is not a real thing, is it? Is it a real thing??? The love coach doesn't believe opposites attract, saying a deal-breaker for her is not having similar interests, because "that would make us incompatible".

Belinda believes Sarah Jessica Parker should play her in a movie because "her role in 'Sex and the City'. My life is similar to hers," she says, potentially flagging that she has a serious shoe shopping addiction.

Cobie

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Cobie's a Queenslander who works as a Coal Plant operator. The 30-year-old describes herself as "a unicorn in a girl's body" which is honestly a terrifying picture if you really think about it.

Cobie plans on winning over Matty J by not knowing anything. "I'm just going to wing it," she said. "I know nothing about him and he knows nothing about me... I am just going to be myself and have fun."

Elise

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Former Australian hockey player, Elise is a 29-year-old from Western Australia who now works as a marketing executive.

Elise's dream date sounds like *our* dream date to be honest, "casual is my style, with either beach or ocean activities followed by a sunset wine and cheese". Elsie also described about 90 percent of all 'Bachelor' dates, so she's going to love this experience.

Elizabeth

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Elizabeth is a 31-year-old property executive who has a dog named Bruce. Elizabeth's secret talent is being able to cook, being able to make something out of whatever's in the fridge. Elizabeth might have confused her application and thinks she's applied for 'Masterchef'.

From New South Wales, Elizabeth is looking for a soulmate she can "have banter with, even in their old age when looks have faded". Elizabeth apparently isn't optimistic about what the future looks like.

Elora

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Tahitian-born Elora is a 27-year-old fitness trainer who has a VERY specific dream date. "We would ride horses on a beautiful beach," she said. "We would then have them on a lead with us on the beach," she continued, "while we picnic on the sand to some live music".

Elora believes in love at first sight, describing it like the plot of an 'Exorcist' movie. "I believe that energies are so strong that souls can feed off them and you know right away."

Florence

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Florence is looking for someone with a "good sense of Dutch humour", whatever that means. The Dutch brand manager now lives in Victoria and she believes the greatest deal breakers are "a drug or alcohol problem... and red Converse shoes". It must be a Dutch humour thing.

When asked who the 27-year-old believes should play her in a movie, she responded with every actress. "Jennifer Lawrence, Emma Stone or Cameron Diaz. Those chicks are legends and hilarious," Florence said before adding, "or Margot Robbie because she is hot".

Jennifer

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Jennifer is a 27-year-old marketing manager from New South Wales, who believes she's got a good shot at making it to the final four.

Jennifer's describes her dream date as "basically dinner in a romantically lit petting zoo," because nothing says romance like a goat doing a poo next to a picnic blanket.

Laura

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Laura is an accessories designer from New South Wales who describes herself as a "big flirt" and whose perfect date can range from something on the ocean (everyone LOVES the ocean), to a trip to Aldi.

The 30-year-old plans to win Matty J's heart over with her "terrible puns and dance moves", which might bring painful memories back for Matty of Georgia and Lee's pun-based romance from last year. Maybe he's a glutton for pun-ishment. Bazinga!

Laura-Ann

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Laura-Ann is a 27-year-old criminal lawyer from Victoria who, describing herself in five words chose "classy, tomboy, dollop of hood".

Laura-Ann wants someone to wear matching basketball jerseys with which -- if we're being honest -- would probably be easier if she just joined a basketball team, right?

Leah

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Leah believes her love life is like the movie 'How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days', you know the movie where Kate Hudson attempts to get Matthew McConaughey to dump her after 10 days by becoming a sociopath and nicknaming his penis "Princess Sophia"?

Leah doesn't believe in love at first sight, but she does believe chemistry is instant, which is definitely true. Just ask Marie Curie! (Chemistry jokes! Anyone?)

Lisa

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Lisa is a 24-year-old from Victoria and she's a model so if you got her in the office sweep chances are you've got a good chance at making it to the finals.

Lisa also describes her perfect wedding as having a "big ass cheese platter and dessert table". She also wants a Mr Whippy van there so if Matty J doesn't marry her, can we..?

Michelle

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Michelle is a 31-year-old police officer from South Australia, who worries that some men may find her job intimidating, but she's keen to finally meet someone to have a connection with.

When asked if she had ever had her heart broken, Michelle admitted, "I have been cheated on a few times which has broken my heart and spirit," so if anyone tries to hurt Michelle again they will have us to deal with.

Monica

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Monica used to work in a slaughterhouse which honestly makes her sound terrifying. The 26-year-old now works as a medical receptionist (the perfect cover) and lives in Victoria.

When asked what her strategy was to win Matty J's heart, Monica replied: "Be myself. If he does not like me when I am being myself," she said probably sharpening a meat cleaver, "he is not the one for me". She describes her ideal man as having "a good heart," we just hope it... you know... stays in his chest.

Natalie

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Natalie is a 26-year-old Midwife from South Australia. While she doesn't believe in love at first sight, she does believe in lust at first sight, which is something we experience often, usually walking past breakfast buffets.

Natalie's worst date was when she met up with a guy wearing essential oils. "The smell was just really overwhelming and gross. Dude, you are a man, not a candle." It might be bad news if Natalie doesn't like candles, considering the Bachelor mansion is made up of 16,000 of them.

Sharlene

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If you loved the 2001 romantic comedy starring Jennifer Lopez and Matthew McConaughey, you'll love 26-year-old Sharlene from Victoria because she's... 'The Wedding Planner'.

Sharlene used to compete in bodybuilding competitions and still practices Muy Thai boxing, and hopes in the future that she'll train women in Muy Thai as well as self-defence, "and maybe even have my own destination wedding planning business".

Sian

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Sian is a 23-year-old retail assistant who describes herself as happiest when she's sleeping, dancing or eating. Sleepy Sian is from Western Australia and when asked her thoughts on marriage she said "I believe in it". She's also a strong supporter of same-sex marriage so we love Sian for that.

Her dream date includes "home-made dinner, red wine and watching the basketball in our pyjamas". Worried we haven't mentioned the ocean in a while? Don't stress, Sian has you covered adding, "either that, or a nice dinner near the ocean". The ocean!!!!

Simone

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Simone can fit 25 marshmallows in her mouth.

Stacey

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Gym instructor Stacey is a former 2015 Miss V8 Supercars Miss Personality recipient and we hope she wears the sash for the entire duration of her journey on 'The Bachelor'.

Miss Personality thinks her life is exactly like the movie 'Good Luck Chuck'. "If you actually date me and end it with me," Stacey said, "the next girl you meet will be the girl you fall head over heels for". That doesn't bode so well for Stacey on this, a dating show.

Stephanie

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Gas and oil safety administrator Stephanie is obsessed with teeth. Her deal breaker is bad teeth and her ideal man, you guessed it, has good teeth.

Stephanie's teeth doesn't believe she's been in love before, but has been "in lust" in past relationships. The 23-year-old from Western Australia hopes to change that with Matty J.

Tara

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Tara is a 27-year-old nanny from Queensland who applied for the show because an 11-year-old told her to.

Tara can apparently do a really solid Britney Spears impression which we sincerely hope makes an appearance at some point in the show.

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