After all the women arrived at the mansion to meet this year's Bachelor, the artist formerly known as Matty J (there's no J this season!), one of the most dramatic and theatrical cocktail parties ever kicked off.
Immediately, Leah, Jennifer and Elizabeth set themselves up as ones to watch with a countdown of who'll throw the first drink at someone else.
On the other hand Lisa, Laura and Elora were all fan-favourites (as well as Matty favourites), while Natalie swung around from the chandelier, honking and farting (seriously) while the other girls sniped at each other.
Ultimately two women had to go home, and Matty sent Monica and Stacey packing.
After the fireworks of the cocktail party, Jennifer notes there's "a lot of tension" since she spent most of the night screaming at everyone. "I'm keeping my friends close and my enemies closer," Jennifer said working her way through the bucket list of clichés she hoped to say on TV.
Elora scored the first single date card, probably because she made such an impression lighting the front lawn on fire. Matty took her on the first ocean date of the season, the first of many, many ocean dates. "I thought it was too early for champagne," Matty said, pouring her a glass of alcohol. Elora's eyes darted around the boat, desperately looking for a life-raft full of UDLs.
Matty, having worn a shirt for approximately three minutes, ripped it off to go for a swim with Elora and some dolphins.
Back at the mansion, Leah and Jennifer were discussing Elora, and her gung-ho attitude. "I'm typically not a fighter when it comes to guys, I don't usually have to," Jennifer said after spending the entire first cocktail party literally fighting the other women.
Immediately after admitting she's "typically not a fighter," Jennifer tells Leah and Sian that she'd "walk right over them" to get to Matty. But you know, not in a fighter-y sense. Then Jennifer decides the best plan is to "destroy Elora". Very chill.
As she read out the group date card Jennifer, Leah and Sian reveal they've apparently formed some kind of alliance. Confusing the show for 'Survivor' the three band together in an attempt to outwit, outlast and outstay their welcome.
Meanwhile, back on the love boat, "It's really romantic of him to take a selfie of us," was a real sentence Elora said, so that's where society is at. After a bit of a dip, the two of them went back to a love shack where the most cringe-worthy conversation ensured.
"What are you thinking?"
"I dunno, what are you thinking?"
"I'm thinking about what you're thinking."
"I just got lost in your eyes a little. What are you thinking?"
"I was thinking if you're a cyclops do you blink or wink?"
Elora then asked the awkward question about Matty's time on 'The Bachelorette'. "Is Laura still in the picture? I mean Jennifer! I MEAN GEORGIA!" After all that, Elora nabbed the first rose of the episode, but no full-on pash. Matty's taking things slow this season.
As Elora returned to the mansion the newly formed triad of fun grilled her on her experience. Things got very 'Mean Girls' very quickly.
For the group date Matty took the swarm on the photoshoot date where they all have to get dressed up and embarrass themselves for a magazine shoot.
And then there was the greatest jump cut in 'Bachelor' history. As Jennifer sized up the competition, criticising the outfits of everyone else in the room she smugly waved off the other women. Not much competition by the looks of their outfits. Then we saw what she'd be wearing.
Give them all the Logies now.
Furious at being put in the back of her photo, Jennifer resorts to a double-hitter of two bucket list phrases. "I'm not here to play nice," she said, ticking that off the list. "Nobody puts baby in the corner," she smirked, before half diving, half flopping into the pool in order to sex things up.
As the photo shoots continued Leah decided to make her moves during the one-on-one shoot. If you cast your mind back to Richie's season he and his winning Bachelorette Alex had their one-on-one photo shoot against a motorbike. Lo and behold Leah and Matty's shoot was on a motorbike!
Unfortunately, where Richie and Alex's photo shoot ended in fireworks, Matty couldn't get his face away from Leah's fast enough. As Leah went in for a cheeky kiss, Matty acted like he just remembered he left the oven on at home.
After the group date, Matty surprised the bachelorettes with a basket full of muffins to distract them as he pulled Lisa aside for a game of tennis. Matty and Lisa have great chemistry and we can't stress enough how badly we think she's being set up as the favourite. She's being set up as the favourite, you guys. Lisa received a rose at the end of her rose, and she and Matty wandered into the second cocktail party together.
Leah and Jennifer began to antagonise Elora after she voiced the fact that she was feeling vulnerable about the whole dating one guy along with 20 other women situation. She called Jennifer out, saying DIRECTLY TO HER FACE, "I don't think you're very nice." Jennifer, who hasn't been very nice the whole time, was shocked.
That's when the poo really hit the fan. The women began to tear each other apart, and feelings were not spared. Leah attempted to position herself between Elora and Simone to which Simone responded "I wouldn't speak to you, because I don't like you."
At the rose ceremony, the producers once again reminded Matty it'll be a better season if he kept all the drama in, so Jennifer, Sian and Leah all got roses. Unfortunately for Laura-Ann, who got two lines in the entire show and maybe thirteen seconds of screentime, she did not receive a rose.
The drama is just beginning.Suggest a correction