We're back and hopefully we're going to have a little less drama than last week. Haha, who are we kidding.
This week kicked off with a group date where four of the bachelorettes were invited to a date with one of each others' parents. They all immediately started weeping, which is exactly what we'd do if one of our parents was chaperoning our five-way date.
Each parent-child pairing were given the task of cooking a dish for lunch, so it was like an episode of 'My Four Girlfriends' Kitchen Rules'.
Everyone was having a really lovely time and were super happy to see their family members. Except of course Jennifer, who was judging everyone's cooking like the Simon Cowell of 'MasterChef'.
"Desserts are my speciality, I'm a little dessert myself," Jennifer said, probably admitting she's better in small doses.
Matty picked Elise for some solo time after her dad took him aside and basically said, "Pick Elise for some solo time. I know mixed martial arts". We're definitely paraphrasing here. She snagged a rose.
Back at the house everyone woke up from the slumber of the dull group date, hearing a commotion on the driveway. Matty must have been feeling frisky because he was in the mood for two humps. Get it? He arrived on a camel...
Tara scored the solo date, which was her second date. Group Date Queen Jennifer (the best cook in the house) snapped every glass in half. Meanwhile Tara celebrated scoring the solo date by screaming consistently for the entire camel ride.
After their camel ride, Tara and Matty sat down in a beautiful tent and sampled a handful of Moroccan teas. "I love tea!" Tara said, "My name starts with one!"
Then they busted out a belly dancer and, we can't stress this enough: This was the best date for Matty so far. He looked like he was ACTUALLY having a good time! Gone were the dates of him going through the motions (shirt off, serious conversation about family, rose, kiss) but he and Tara seemed to actually have a good time. IT WAS NICE TO WATCH FOR ONCE!
The first cocktail party of the week began with Jennifer complaining again that she didn't get solo time. She hadn't understood the concept of the group date and thought the "best cook" deserved alone time with Matty.
"I am the best cook in the house," Jennifer kept saying to the other girls, forgetting how poorly Sharlene's "I'm not one of the catering staff" speech went down.
Jennifer sat Matty down in front of a plate of desserts ("I'm a bit of a dessert myself," Jennifer said again probably because "desserts" spelled backwards is "stressed") and the two had a conversation as to how she felt friend-zoned.
After their brief chat, Jennifer was totally confident in her standings in the game... Uhh we mean search for romance.
At the end of the rose ceremony it was Michelle who went home. Oh Michelle, you were too good for this show. The Queen of Hearts. Interestingly enough, Jennifer was suuuuuper upset by this, probably because she and Michelle had become close friends.
We only point this out because Jen has been doing a really great job at playing the villain but she couldn't hide her true self when it came to her mate (who deserved better) not getting a rose.
After Elise's dad grilled Matty for not taking his daughter on a single date... Matty picked Elise to go on the next solo date TOTALLY out of his own choice!!!
Just kidding, Elise has had some slow momentum since her fishing stunt, and having her dad put the pressure on was just enough to get some more attention from the Bachelor.
Matty arrived in style... in a double-decker bus. Remember how Matty lived in London for like two weeks? Well this was another one of those "Matty lived in London" dates. Matty lived in London like Jennifer is the best cook in the house, you can't go five minutes without hearing about it.
Before their date really kicked off they drove around Sydney before Matty bought Elise some flowers. "I usually only buy my mum flowers," he said, "so this was really special".
Back at the mansion, the bachelorettes were discussing how happy they were for Elise to be getting a single date. "So happy for her," they said behind gritted teeth. "I hope she has a great time," they said, crushing every wine glass in the house. Then they found out they were ALL going on the group date. "Yay," they said scowling at each other, sharpening their switchblades.
Elise and Matty rocked up at a park where Matty had erected (haha) a lemonade stand where he challenged the ex-professional hockey player to a hockey showdown. After Elise scored some goals, the two wrestled in a public park while a ton of kids watched on. Meanwhile, at the perfect opportunity for a pash ELISE MISSED HER CHANCE.
Then they went on a boat because this show is contractually obligated to have a boat rental in every episode or the god of the seas, great Poseidon, will smite them.
The group date was all about catching balls and thong tossing.
For some reason Jennifer, the best cook in the house, decided to turn her attention to Lisa and create a feud there. The whole group date was all about Jen vs Lisa. Meanwhile most of the country scratched their heads trying to remember the last time Lisa even spoke on the show.
Sadly for the best cook in the house (Jennifer), the team that won more time with Matty was her nemesis of five minutes, Lisa. While Matty and Tara were away, Lisa confided in Elora and Cobie that she felt she maybe didn't have as strong feelings for Matty as the rest of the bachelorettes.
Realistically, Lisa made a really good point. She hasn't had a lot of time with Matty, so how is she supposed to develop those feelings?
That went through the Jennifer translator and she decided to tell Matty how Lisa was totally not into him at all. At the cocktail party, Matty went straight to Jennifer (possibly for more desserts?) to see how she was doing.
Matty took Lisa aside and confronted her which was awkward, so Elise confronted Jennifer. There was so much confrontation the cast of 'Survivor' took a break from blindsiding each other to say, "Wow you guys are mean".
Then we got our second look of a rouge producer this season! Jennifer went off to the house to cry about "mean girls" and "all the bitches in the house".
And then... Jennifer... walked... out.
She just grabbed her bag and left without saying a word to Matty or any of the other girls.
We've talked about the unnecessary takedowns of villains in this season, and we got a second episode of it tonight.
Another one bites the dust.Suggest a correction