In the first episode of the season Sophie rewarded Uncle Sam with this season's reward, the "double delight rose". It's a super gross name for a rose that gives him TWO single dates, but sounds more like something you can get arrested for doing on public transport.
This episode featured a paranoid Uncle Sam, as well as an infuriated handful of bachelors say the phrase "double delight rose" so much it made us feel like we needed to take a double delight shower. Ugh even that sounds filthy.
The first single date of the season went to Jarrod, who doesn't like it when people only see him for the vineyard he owns. That's understandable, luckily we see Jarrod as a guy who owns a vineyard AND alpacas!
Jarrod and Sophie's single date was a high-wire walk across a stadium 60 metres above the ground, because nothing says romance like the smell of actually shitting your pants, suspended over a stadium.
"How did you guys meet?" Someone will ask the happy couple, "Well, we met on a TV show where we both absolutely ruined our pants on our first date. They had to hose us down."
"Oh my god, I don't like this at all," Sophie said climbing up to the high wire, possibly the BEST thing you can hear on a first date.
Oh, did we mention not only does Sophie have a crippling fear of heights (fun!) but so did Jarrod! Luckily he was a perfect gentleman, taking care of Sophie.
About halfway through the high-wire walk, Sophie had a moment of clarity and was like, "Yeah, nah f**k this let's get to the sitting on the actual ground bit of the date".
After taking care of Sophie, Jarrod was rewarded with a rose and a trip to PASH CITY!
The guys discussed Jarrod's group date and Uncle Sam almost went eight seconds without saying "double delight rose". Then he brought it up again. How could he, the owner of the "double delight rose" (shudder) not get picked for a "double delight date!" (Cringe.) Did Sophie forget about the "double delight rose"? (Barf.)
The group date featured a photo shoot of famous couples in time like Ares and Aphrodite, Robin Hood and Maid Marion or Mary-Kate and Ashley. Ok the last one we made up, but that would have been amazing.
Uncle Sam, who got the "double delight rose" in episode one in case he hadn't mentioned it yet, took the opportunity in his photo shoot to shout things like, "I JUST LOOKED AT SOPHIE'S CANS," and "BOOBS!". You know, just charming stuff.
Blake referred to Adam and Eve as "the first power couple", and talked about how he loved getting naked, which made us like him more. Sophie described her shoot with Blake as the hottest thing ever, which was absolutely confirmed when he turned around and showed the G-string some poor production assistant had to glue fake leaves onto.
The cocktail party took a turn when Jarrod started to show signs of a stage-five clinger. There was a huge cringe-worthy moment when he began to wax eloquent about how much he appreciated seeing Sophie at the cocktail party.
"Ah, Sophie," he sighed in front of all the other dudes trying to date the same woman. "I'm not trying to marry these other guys!" he said, potentially breaking a few hearts.
Just a gentle reminder that in Bardot's iconic song 'Poison' the lyrics go, "With just one kiss I will blow your mind / Your desperation makes you feel insane / Fever running high you will never be the same".
Jarrod got the first kiss, now he's acting insane. Coincidence? WE THINK NOT.
Thankfully Eden, the dude who breakdanced in an orange tracksuit, said the word "reciprocated" in his heavy Kiwi accent and it made all the awkwardness worth it.
Jarrod managed to take his wife Sophie away for a quick chat where he gave her some Ugg boots –- the SECOND pair she received in two episodes! Is this season being sponsored by Uggs?!
Blake, the original Ugg-gifter was FURIOUS that someone else would present Sophie his signature shoe while Sophie called herself a "Bogan Cinderella".
It caused a bit of tension for Blake and Jarrod but who knows, we're sure that'll just smooth over and there'll be no drama whatsoever. Absolutely no drama. Lol.
Unfortunately for Jourdan, he didn't receive a rose at the end of the night and had to limp off into the great unknown.Suggest a correction