You should never need a reason to indulge your love for dogs and all things dog-related, but as the world skids further into a fiery hellscape, dogs can be a great source of self-care.
But what do you do if there's no dog in sight? Sure, you could just look at some photos, I mean, that could work. But wouldn't it be even better to hear jokes and anecdotes tinged with Twitter's trademark mix of bleakness and humour? No need to answer that question, fellow dog-adorer, because we got you.
We have scoured Twitter and found our favourite dog-related tweets for those times you need them which, we guess is, like, always?
Cop: Know why I stopped you?
Me: Cuz my dog is driving?
Cop: No, I wanted to pet him and call him a good boy.
Dog: [tail just goes nuts]— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) June 19, 2017
find someone who looks at you the way everyone at gate 43 is looking at the federal police black Labradors— Laura Elvery (@lauraelvery) June 5, 2017
me [seeing lady holding pug]: hey little guy :)— Deirdre (@figgled) May 4, 2017
lady: his name is-
me: I. WAS. NOT. SPEAKING. TO. YOU
Blind man: Please, I beg you, don't touch my service dog. It distracts him & I need him to live
Us: [approaching dog like reeaally quietly]— Spooky Nutritionist (@SortaBad) October 22, 2017
dog: woof— no (@tbhjuststop) April 12, 2017
me: i would die for you
I don't like puppies. I like old, streetwise dogs who put a paw on your arm and stare you down like they're proposing one last casino heist.— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) October 5, 2016
ugh I want a dog but I dont have time to manage its Instagram— Ghoulia Boosh (@jabush) March 21, 2017
When you lied on your CV about having previous sheepdog experience. pic.twitter.com/fecGfhE9YD— Paul Bronks (@BoringEnormous) September 25, 2017
Someone tried to tell me there are humans at the other end of dog leashes, but I've never seen any.— Jo Thornely (@jothornely) June 14, 2016
*backflips out of bushes*— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) March 18, 2015
can I pet your dog
I bet dogs at parties get tired of being singled out by socially awkward humans.— Alexa (@TheWoodenslurpy) September 12, 2015
Hi, I spend 3 minutes every day choosing a TV channel to leave on for my dog, then I go to work and people take me seriously as an adult.— Damien Fahey (@DamienFahey) November 4, 2014
Sorry I wasn't listening when you were talking about your dog. I was busy looking in my phone for a picture of my superior dog.— Mike Primavera (@primawesome) January 25, 2015
Cats are great if you'd like only the unpleasant aspects of having a dog.— Alex Baze (@bazecraze) May 11, 2013
Footage of me alone with dogs could really bolster the insanity plea at my murder trial.— Alec Sulkin (@thesulk) September 1, 2013
Every day when my dog gets sad that I'm leaving for class I'm just like "I'm doing this for you. I'm doing this so we can have a good life"— Skyla LePoris (@SkylaLePoris) September 19, 2016
The best thing in the world is dogs with human names. A woman on this train is currently screaming STOP IT NORMAN YOU NEVER DO THIS AT HOME.— TechnicallyRaarrrghh (@TechnicallyRon) September 18, 2017
Satanic ritual to summon the Goodest Boy Ever pic.twitter.com/SkjmjiUB4a— Kim (@realkimhansen) August 27, 2017
I love how this dog looks at this egg, like he's learned absolutely nothing. pic.twitter.com/SgXGa4XBtr— Steve Hogarty (@misterbrilliant) August 19, 2017
I seem pretty pulled together for a grown woman who just held her dog by the face and said "Are you a human trapped in a dog body? Tell me."— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) October 8, 2017
[looking at my dog who's now 70 in dog years] beautiful old boy, so wise [my dog starts eating his shit] yes, with age comes wisdom— Christian (@nopoweradeinusa) October 13, 2017
"that was fast." pic.twitter.com/XlqsRCtMjX— spooky mulder (@stefschwartz) October 9, 2017
[while being tackled by police dog] what's his name?— brent (@murrman5) July 3, 2017
FURTHER PROOF DOGS R MAGIC: i was about to google an ex & my friend's dog ran over, put her paw on my keyboard, & looked deeply into my soul— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) June 15, 2016
my favorite genre of photograph is "dogs who are about to send you on a mystical quest." pic.twitter.com/fxBnZzbptu— the library haunter (@SketchesbyBoze) June 30, 2017
every morning I ask the dog "the usual?" before pouring her food into her bowl & neither of us thinks it's funny but that's showbiz baby— dī(ə)ltōn (@lilghosthands) September 10, 2017
*dog reading birthday card*— Blind Chow (@BlindChow) July 18, 2014
[front] Who's a good boy?
[inside] You are!
*tail goes fuckin nuts*
Suggest a correction
mum to the dog: goodbye beautiful boy, i will see you tonight. i love u. have a great day!— Deirdre (@figgled) August 18, 2016
mum to me: cya