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The McGregor Mayweather Fight Is Everything That's Wrong With The World Right Now

It's like Donald Trump's mythical locker room just came to life.

25/08/2017 1:09 PM AEST | Updated 29/08/2017 3:49 PM AEST
Steve Marcus / Reuters
Our guess is they're not quoting Shakespeare to each other.

There comes a time in every sports fan's life where you go nope, this is bullshit and I refuse to care, let alone watch, let alone pay $60 for the "privilege". The McGregor Mayweather fight is one such time.

If you don't know about this weekend's 12 round fight (conducted under boxing rules) between undefeated boxer Floyd Mayweather and mixed martial arts champ Conor McGregor, congratulations on your humanity. The vulgarity can be summarised thus:

Steve Marcus / Reuters

Mayweather is an ageing American boxer who served jail time for domestic abuse, and who spent the week leading up to this fight hanging out in strip clubs where he spoke of the joys of "ass, titties, pussy, liquor and music". Because apparently this makes him a man.

McGregor is a foul-mouthed Irishman who said he will "fook Mayweather up", and who boasts of bouncing people's heads off the canvas in the UFC. Because apparently this makes him tough.

He also boasts of his dick size, using a racial cliche to do so. Because apparently this makes him quite the catch.

The fighters will pocket the unthinkably mountainous sum of at least $100 million each. Because apparently there are a lot of suckers out there willing to pay to watch a match which will prove nothing, regardless of what happens.

Steve Marcus / Reuters

At stake, apart from bragging rights, is a belt dubbed "The Money Belt", which is valued at well over a million dollars, and which features crocodile skin, 3,360 diamonds, 600 sapphires and 300 emeralds. Because apparently tacky is the new classy.

The fighters have been on a two-month long promotional tour, during which time the trash talk has become utterly tedious. This effort hidden in the pin stripes of McGregor's suit was amusing but hardly uplifting. Because apparently "f--k you" is the new "good luck, champ".

Zuffa LLC via Getty Images
We have a sense of humour so we'll admit this was pretty funny. We're just not sure it does a whole lot for the concept of sportsmanship.

The women at the press conferences look like they forgot to get dressed before coming to work. Because apparently both fighters want the world to know that women are glittery ornaments, just like that gaudy Money Belt.

Steve Marcus / Reuters
An object lusted after by two vulgar fighters. Sadly, we're not talking about the belt.

We could tell you more about every single time these two delightful humans called each other things like "pussy", "bitch", "ho", "faggot" and worse in the past two months.

But why harp on? The most powerful man on earth was elected after boasting of "grabbing women by the pussy", so there are clearly millions of people who take no offense from this kind of talk.

Donald Trump's proverbial "locker room" was a theoretical construct where talk like this happens. But if you've followed this fight, you've been living in that locker room for two months.

This is a fight made for our times, and of our times. And that's what makes it doubly awful.

*HuffPost Australia intends to cover the result of the fight, as it is a news story and we cover news. This story was just one person's opinion.

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