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What makes the perfect parent? Is there a recipe or a list of ingredients you can follow to become a person capable of raising a child? What do you need to have to be an outstanding mum or dad?
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I have a wife, a kid, a job, and a car designed to ferry around young children whilst also having enough boot space to accommodate pushchairs and huge quantities of food. What I don't have are the feelings and attributes that I associate with adulthood.
What I think makes Australia a truly awesome place to live, and the reason why we have never considered moving back to the UK, despite the spiders, sharks, snakes, sun, scorpions, mullets, rats-tails and truly awful beer, is the people.
If we can learn anything from the Charlie Hebdo attack, it's that the way to beat extremism is to treat it for what it is: pantomime performed by the minority for attention.
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Maybe someone will read this and be able to give me those man-things I crave -- a special handshake and an awesome nickname. Or we could just hide our feelings away and talk about sport, women and motorbikes while we awkwardly sip beer. Whatever.
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It can be difficult, knowing that important things like your outlook on life, your relationships with others, and how you react to even the most minor annoyances in life can be affected by a constant battle raging in your head.
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It's the most wonderful time of the year, but what they forget to tell you is that the feeling disappears as you enter your teens and you spend the rest of your life trying to reclaim it.
I know that there's a school of thought that when two people come together they somehow combine and become one person -- two halves of the same whole. What nonsense