Anadolu Agency via Getty Images
Ernst Daniel Scheffler via Getty Images
SCENE -- an undisclosed hall in Frankston, Victoria. A podium draped in an Australian flag stands in front of approximately 500 chairs. Seventeen of them are occupied.
As a result, it is this Court's recommendation that no charges be laid against MALCOLM BLIGH TURNBULL at this time. Mr Turnbull's actions, despite being self-interested, can also be seen as a 'mercy killing'.
This is textbook stuff, people -- I mean it, you should all have your copies of <em>Sorry Seems to Be the Least Necessary Word</em>, so turn to page three.