What happens when two people are attracted to each other, find they have a lot in common, except... one prefers plain vanilla sex and the other thrives on the joy of kink?
Differences in sexual wants and needs is one reason to say no. There are, however, other reasons why someone says no to sex.
Although we acknowledge that there is a wide range of individual differences in human sexuality, we don't seem to talk about them very much. We tend to expect our partner to be like us and to enjoy sex in the same way we do.
Sex therapists see many women whose complaint is that they have never, or only sometimes, had that feeling of physical desire for sex that they have heard so much about. So what is wrong with them?
Before we become excited that our society is either going to hell in a handbasket or attaining desired heights of sexual liberation, depending on your point of view, most of the stuff on the net has not been invented by modern, free thinking sexual explorers: it has always been practised.
The demand for sex therapy continues, but expectation has replaced ignorance as the major source of distress. Now sexual success seems to focus more on behaviours than emotions; tender vanilla sex is derided, prolonged erotic activity has become the gold standard.