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As for the fear of children feeling both ends of life's emotional spectrum, in an age where disappointment has apparently been outlawed, see the General George S. Patton quote, much loved by AFL coaching and playing great, Leigh Matthews: "Accept the challenge without reservation or doubt, and risk the depression of losing, so you may experience the exhilaration of victory."
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Valentine's is this month and I'm reeling in shock. Our daughter is only eight, but already the heart-tingling idea of love has reared its ugly head.
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A strict adherence to the truth can get boring. Like my dad, I have facts I stick to with our daughters. My wife rolls her eyes, but I will forever keep aloft the torch that declares warts come from touching toads.
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With the current week Beijing is having, you come to understand why. If, like cyclones, catastrophic smog days were given names to identify them, an appropriate one for this week would be something like Motherf*cker Bob.
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The top brass had jetted into Beijing and everything had been meticulously planned for the China launch of a major US computer company's much-hyped new laptop. Then, very loudly through some large speakers, a song started up.
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I have two golden rules, critical to my existence around mothers: Never ask a woman if she's pregnant, even when she has her feet in stirrups and a bunch of doctors around her. And never, ever, ask if she's had her haircut.
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Of all the things the Chinese invented, it never occurred to them to grow a pumpkin, hollow it out and stick a candle in it. They never thought to put on a skeleton costume and demand lollies from a neighbour under the threat of throwing a rotten egg onto his roof.
Our six-year-old daughter swallowed a coin. And our seemingly happy life changed utterly. I've no idea how or why. All I know is that it happened on my watch. Worse still, it happened on my lap.