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If Man Flu Is Atchooly A Thing, What Is The Female Version?

28/03/2016 7:49 AM AEDT | Updated 15/07/2016 12:51 PM AEST
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Have you ever wondered what the female version of Man Flu is? Recently, while I had this strain of illness, I arrived at the answer. Let me enlighten you...

It's called "F**k-it-I-don't-have-time-to-get-sick", or better known as "Just-a-Cold".

Let's take a look at the obvious differences...

MAN FLU

Husband says: "Aw, Babe. I'm so sick. I think I have Man Flu."

Wife says: "Awwww, Honey. That's no good." While really thinking to herself: "There goes any help I was hoping to get for the next three days!"

JUST-A-COLD

Wife says: "Achoo, achoo, achoo, achoo, achoo!"

Husband says... Not a f****n lot.

MAN FLU SYMPTOMS

Severe sniffles.

Severe headaches.

Severe razor blade sore throat.

Severe fatigue.

Severe blah blah chicken.

JUST A COLD

Just a runny nose.

Just a little headache.

Just a little razor in the throat.

Just a little tired.

Just a - oh really who gives a s**t, just get on with your day.

MAN FLU TREATMENT

Strict bed rest for three days straight.

Ring bell for any service you require.

No medication will help as this is the worst flu EVER.

Sex may help relieve symptoms. Actually, sex will definitely relieve symptoms -- briefly.

JUST-A-COLD TREATMENT

Go about your normal activities.

And there you have it -- a complete medical evaluation from someone with no medical background whatsoever, unless you can include Band Aid compressions on little knees, life-saving splinter removal from thumbs, and Panadol administrations to mini Man Flu carriers.

Stay healthy, dear Superwomen, there's a Man Flu epidemic!

_____________________

This blog first appeared on Cristy O'Brien's website.

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