This Map Of Donald Trump's Foreign Policy Would Be Funny If It Weren't So True

Remember, he has called himself his own adviser on the issue.

13/04/2016 5:38 AM AEST | Updated 13/04/2016 5:38 AM AEST

WASHINGTON -- Donald Trump is lucky. His campaign is gifted with the greatest foreign policy adviser ever. “I’m speaking with myself,” Trump assured the world after being asked where he gets his foreign affairs advice. “I have a very good brain.”

We combed through Trump’s many foreign policy disputations in an effort to figure out just what’s going on inside that very good brain. Inspired by HuffPost Comedy's piece about the candidate's view of the world, we decided to draw up a map of his foreign policy proposals. The two ended up not being all that dissimilar.

Afghanistan: A Mistake

Trump called the war there a “terrible mistake,” but later backtracked to say he supports the war effort in Afghanistan, but opposed the invasion of Iraq.

America: Make Great Again

When he announced his presidential exploratory committee last year, Trump said, "I am the only the one who can make America truly great again!"

Australia: WTF, Mate?

Meanwhile Australia is down there like, "WTF, mate?"

Belgium: Hellhole

In January, Trump claimed Muslims have failed to assimilate in Brussels, and called the city a "hellhole." After coordinated terrorist attacks in the city left more than 30 people dead in March, Trump doubled down on his comments, tweeting: "I was so right!"

Brazil: Dilma Who?

During a 2014 interview with a Brazilian magazine, Trump reportedly did not know Dilma Rousseff was a woman, or the nation's president.

Canada: Ted Cruz Land

Trump has said he could sue GOP competitor Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) "for not being a natural born citizen." (Cruz was born in Canada to an American mother.) The issue remains contested, in part because the U.S. Supreme Court has "never directly ruled on the citizenship provision for presidential office holders," according to PolitiFact.

China: Ruining Everything

Trump has blamed China for causing a number of economic problems for the United States. He has claimed that when he's president, "China will be on notice that America is back in the global leadership business and that their days of currency manipulation and cheating are over." (Some of Trump's products are, in fact, made in China.)

Cuba: We Cool

In contrast to most other GOP presidential contenders, Trump said last year he supports President Barack Obama's decision to re-engage with Cuba. But, he added, the U.S. should have "made a better deal."

France: Hates Guns

Trump suggested armed civilians could have stopped last year's terrorist attacks in Paris if France did not have such strict gun control laws. 

Guantanamo: Yay Torture!

Trump has said he would bring back waterboarding, a form of torture, and “much worse.” CIA director John Brennan said the spy agency would not resume the practice of waterboarding, even if a future president ordered it.

India: A+

“India is doing great. Nobody talks about it,” Trump said earlier this year.

Iraq/Syria: Target Civilians

Trump has called for intentionally killing family members of Islamic State militants -- which would be a war crime. He later walked back that proposal, insisting he only pledged to “go after them,” not necessarily kill them.

Iran: Who Knows?

Trump has flip-flopped on whether he’d call off the international nuclear agreement with Iran, but recently proposed a bizarre alternative: lifting restrictions on Iran’s access to U.S. markets to sell them defective missiles for a profit.  

Israel: I'll Fix It

“I would say that I would have a better chance than anybody of making a deal,” Trump said about resolving the decades-long territorial dispute between the Israelis and Palestinians.

Japan: Needs Nukes

Trump suggested Japan might need nuclear weapons in order to combat North Korea without the help of the U.S. military. Japan's foreign minister called such a prospect "impossible." Trump later attempted to walk back from his comments.

Kenya: Obama's Birthplace?

Trump has a long history of fueling a debunked, racist conspiracy theory that Obama was born in Kenya and is a Muslim.

Libya: Oil Money

Trump now says he never supported the 2011 intervention to oust Muammar Qaddafi -- but at the time he predicted that the people of Libya would repay the U.S. for its efforts with oil.

Mexico: Big Wall (Mexico Pays)

Trump wants to build a wall on the U.S.-Mexico border to stop undocumented immigrants from entering the United States, and he expects Mexico to pay approximately $5 to $10 billion for it. Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto has said he will not pay for the wall, and compared Trump's "strident rhetoric" to that of Hitler.

Morocco: Mexico, Basically

A TV advertisement boasting that Trump will stop illegal immigration from Mexico showed footage of African migrants traveling from Morocco to Spanish territory. Trump spokeswoman Hope Hicks told PolitiFact she did not know the source of the footage.

North Korea: Impressive

Trump has called North Korean leader Kim Jong-un a "maniac," but he also seems to find him impressive. "How many young guys — he was like 26 or 25 when his father died — take over these tough generals, and all of a sudden ... he goes in, he takes over, and he’s the boss," Trump said, according to ABC News. "It's incredible."

Pakistan: Nukes

Trump pointed to the fact that Pakistan has nuclear weapons to bolster his claim that Japan and South Korea might also need them.

Russia: Yay Putin!

After autocratic Russian President Vladimir Putin called Trump "bright and talented," Trump returned the compliment, calling Putin a "leader, unlike what we have in this country" and "highly respected." Trump later tried to deny his praise.

Saudi Arabia: Money Machine

“They’re a money machine, they’re a monetary machine, and yet they don’t reimburse us the way we should be reimbursed,” Trump told The New York Times, referring to U.S. defense support to Saudi Arabia.

Scotland: Mom

In 2008, Trump spent 97 seconds visiting his mother's childhood home in Scotland. He was on his way to promote a golf course. "I do feel Scottish," he said.

South Africa: Crime-Ridden Mess

In a December 2013 tweet, Trump wrote, "I really like Nelson Mandela but South Africa is a crime ridden mess that is just waiting to explode—not a good situation for the people!"

South Korea: Needs Nukes

Trump also suggested South Korea might need nuclear weapons in order to combat North Korea without U.S. aid, sparking fears of an Asian arms race. One of South Korea's largest newspapers wrote in an editorial, "We are dumbfounded at such myopic views."

Sweden: Not Terrorists

"To the best of my knowledge, the people that knocked down the World Trade Center, you know where -- they didn't fly back to Sweden," Trump said in an interview last year. 

Turkey: Strong, But Maybe ISIS

Trump is all over the place on Turkey. He accused it of allowing ISIS to transport oil into the country after Turkey shot down a Russian warplane near the Syrian border. “Turkey looks like they’re on the side of ISIS, more or less based on the oil,” he said. But he added that Turkey, home to two Trump Towers, is made up of “amazing people” with “a strong leader.”

Ukraine: Obama's Fault

“Putin does not respect our president whatsoever," Trump explained to an audience at a conference on promoting Ukraine’s integration into Europe. Trump has also said he doesn’t care if Ukraine joins NATO, which he says is “obsolete.” 

United Kingdom: Scared Police

"We have places in London, and other places that are so radicalized that the police are afraid for their own lives," Trump has said. London's Metropolitan Police responded by saying the real estate mogul "could not be more wrong."

Uruguay: Trump Tower

"Spectacular views and the finest amenities."

Graphic by Alissa Scheller for The Huffington Post.

Editor's note: Donald Trump regularly incites political violence and is a serial liarrampant xenophoberacistmisogynist and birther who has repeatedly pledged to ban all Muslims -- 1.6 billion members of an entire religion -- from entering the U.S.


More On This Topic