Picky eaters are the absolute worst.
There, we said it. If you're beyond the age of 10 and have a laundry list of foods you don't eat, we don't have time for it. Of course we aren't talking about anyone with food allergies or dietary restrictions for health reasons. No, we're talking about the people who simply hate everything.
Try going to a restaurant with someone who will only eat white foods ... nightmare. Or even worse, try making dinner for someone who won't eat vegetables, fish or meat that isn't breaded ... awful.
Because we are polite human beings, we have bitten our tongues for a long time. We have sat silently as you asked the waiter to make you something that wasn't even on the menu. We've willingly changed restaurants because you couldn't find anything you'd eat. And we've even cooked two meals to accommodate your absurd eating habits.
But right now is the time to vent. Because there is only so much we can take. Herewith, 13 things everyone thinks about picky eaters but is too afraid to say:
1. Oh god, please don't make the waiter list EVERY ingredient in the dish. This is so embarrassing.
2. Our waiter is most certainly going to spit in our food, since you took two hours to order and made modifications to everything.
3. You're eating pasta with parmesan cheese and olive oil? How sophisticated, my 4-year-old cousin is more adventurous than that.
4. Don't you understand that the best part about going out to a meal together is getting to share? You're making it VERY difficult.
5. Our food is definitely taking so long because you ordered something that's not on the menu.
6. Stop saying you're allergic to foods you don't like, it's not the same thing.
7. You don't eat chocolate? This relationship probably isn't going to work out.
8. You're seriously going to leave all that food on your plate just because it touched another food you claim you don't like?
9. Oh, you tried it when you were in kindergarten and didn't like it? I'm sure your palate is EXACTLY the same as it was when YOU WERE FIVE.
10. You think you don't like bacon? GOOD, more for me.
12. If you say you don't like one more food that you've clearly never tried, I'm going to lose my shit.
13. But mostly, just:
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