Exc-ooze me, I Don't Like Your Gross Facebook Updates

Share your food, cat or baby. But not your bodily functions.

26/07/2016 5:37 AM AEST | Updated 26/07/2016 5:38 AM AEST
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This doesn't belong on Facebook.

The internet is a miraculous thing. At the touch of your fingers you can access all the information and shopping that the world has to offer. We can share our family happy snaps and holiday adventures with loved ones across the globe; we can reach out for support during tough times; we can ask the cyber sphere any question, any time and get a response. Not to mention 24/7 access to baby pandas sneezing and dogs wearing clothes.

But I fear that our ability to share anything and everything at the click of a button has gone way too far.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you shouldn't share every meal you eat on Instagram, how many dumbbell squats you did on leg day, or yet another photo of your cat. Personally, I am a repeat offender of inundating my Facebook friends with photos of my kids, and I actually really enjoy seeing all the things in my friends' lives that they care about too.

Being able to publicly share our highs and lows brings people together in a way that hasn't been seen before, and I think that's a wonderful thing. And if I'm not interested in something you share, or I'm just too jealous to be happy for your fifth exotic holiday this year, I can employ my universal right to Just Keep Scrolling.

But here's what's really killing me -- the lack of any sort of boundaries out there in cyberspace. Scrolling down my newsfeed, I'm slapped in the face with content that's just plain nasty.

Do we all really need to know about a woman finding a ball of cat hair in her hoo-ha? Is it necessary to share with the world a blow-by-blow account of the latest fight you had with your boyfriend? Do we need to get up close and personal with a video tutorial of how to clean the one of the dirtiest part of your body? (Spoiler alert: it's your belly button. And yes, it's really dirty.)

While I admire the man who has the balls to skydive naked, I don't want to see the video of him falling through the air in all his nude, rear-view glory. Don't even get me started on Dr Pimple Popper and her empire of infected, swollen grossness.

In an era of oversharing to the extreme, when social media makes it easy to reveal every single detail of your life, I'm begging you... If it involves the word "ooze", goes into intimate detail about your relationship dramas or your sex life or if it's about bodily functions or malfunctions, just... don't. If it's not something you'd share with an acquaintance IRL, maybe take a beat, think about it, and post a video of a baby panda instead.

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