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New Year's Resolutions Should Start In February

Because you're still fat and drunk from Christmas, aren't you?

16/01/2017 2:14 PM AEDT | Updated 16/01/2017 3:02 PM AEDT

We have passed the halfway point of the first month of 2017. Can you believe it?

You sipped your last sip of champagne on New Year's Eve and swore self-improvement in the new year. Except your last sip had already ticked over to 2017, hadn't it? You are no thinner, fitter, caffeine-free, tobacco-free or meat-free than you were at the end of 2016, are you?

Do not despair. Universally, New Year's resolutions are started incorrectly.

The January ode to a new life needs to dissipate, and we need to commence being our new selves in February. This is why.

You are still broke

Christmas happened, you had to buy all those obligation presents and re-gift (or drink) all those cleanskin wines. You still can't believe how expensive it was to purchase the ingredients for a cheesecake that no one even ate.

You can't afford that 12-week body plan. Heck, you can't even afford the kale for your green smoothies.

You are still fat from Christmas

You had your 'last drink' in 2017, but your bulge is still there. The wheel of brie that you ate like a hamburger wasn't forgotten on January 1. Why start a race in last place? Let your Christmas coat equal out, dabble with what endorphins are again, and start full pelt in Feb.

It's summer

The three S's. Spontaneity, sunburn and sips. Do you really expect to have your whole life organised after work when it's daylight savings? Who cares about colour coordinating your wardrobe and filing your bills, there is still blue skies and vitamin D.

The introductory French course doesn't start until school goes back, anyway.

You still have social engagements

Barbecues are running hot and rescheduled Christmas catch-ups have rolled into January.

So, you can stick to your soda water in a wine glass, vegan burger and being the fun police. Feel free to also skip the caffeine, nicotine and gluten. Alternatively, you can wait until the social season starts to peter out. The choice is yours.

Work starts again

Your New Year's Eve determination is now compromised. As much as you attempt to push the thought aside, the word 'routine' is being subconsciously whispered. You have realised you have an entire 12 months of alarm clocks, mundane watercooler conversation and hours of wistfully staring at the sun (and freedom) of the outside world.

Climb the ladder and ask for a promotion when you shift back into the work gear, not when you are suffering from post-holiday blues.

January is rushed

Think about this. You have dedicated this time to get your life on track. You want to be fit, healthy, vegetarian, nicotine-free, alcohol-free and help others, but you also need to ease back in to the real world.

Take the pressure off yourself. There are 11 more months in the year.

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