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best parenting tweets
"STOP YELLING screamed the parent."
"Drove our kids around town to look at Christmas lights but they brought an iPad so they could watch a different kid drive around his town looking at lights."
"If you want to piss off a toddler just tell him he’s tired."
"I tell my toddler to 'ask nicely' and instead of saying please he whispers his demands and I'm not even sure that he's wrong."
"Little kids only want to be independent when you’re running late."
"I’d rather hear my toddler say the F-word than 'Again!'"
"Good luck robbing my house. My home security system is LEGOs on the floor."
"Nobody cares more about proper hydration than a kid who’s just been kissed goodnight."
"Kids shouldn’t be allowed to lose teeth during quarantine."
"If you had asked me what the hardest part of battling a global pandemic would be I would have never guessed, 'teaching elementary school math."