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Judging Women For Having Casual Sex Hits Below The Belt

Those relationships between relationships are allowed to be mutually beneficial.

25/03/2017 4:45 AM AEDT | Updated 25/03/2017 6:51 AM AEDT
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How do you know HE is not just another notch on MY belt?

There is a chance I'm not going to be in another 'real' relationship ever again. I just heard a collective: "awwwww, don't say that!"

Look, I could be wrong and the love of my life could be right around the corner waiting for me... blah, blah, blah. I could believe that and believe the many Facebook quotes I see about love (which, incidentally, always have a couple dancing around in a forest or something in the picture -- what poor bugger are they getting to take those photos??), however for the time being, I believe I have been used as a void filler by the guys I have been dating.

Oh, sit down and don't get so angry with me for typing that.

Generally speaking, if a girl uses a guy for 'relations', she is viewed as a slurry yet if a guy uses a girl for 'relations' it's okeydokey artichokey.

It's okay. Upon reflection, those guys have been void fillers for me, too. Okay, that just sounds crass. Perhaps I should say that I used them to fill my void. Nope. That still sounds like I'm channeling Amy Schumer, which also sounds crass, but I love her so I'm going to move on.

For some reason it seems to be frowned upon to say that you used a person or a person used you for some of those 'relationships' you have between relationships. But why? It doesn't mean that there wasn't any fun or feelings involved.

I guess some people can have short-lived romances/dalliances/liaisons/intimate relations/bonkfests without feelings. I however, cannot. In fact, I generally end up letting my feelings take the wheel and driving smack bang into a tree. But that might just be me. I guess that's what happens when you have a sensitive soul and you give love freely.

Okay, that's not entirely true. Anyone who knows me well knows that my general attitude is: "Hate everyone and work your way up -- that way you're never disappointed." However, I digress.

Generally speaking, if a girl uses a guy for 'relations', she is viewed as a slurry, yet if a guy uses a girl for 'relations' it's okeydokey artichokey. As a society, we really need to put these old stereotypical views behind us and we should applaud both sexes for being real enough to know what they want. We should embrace equality when it comes to these mutually consensual dalliances (I'm starting to quite like the word dalliance). We're all heroes!

I'm now going to share a heart-warming story from my younger years. Grab a cup of hot chocolate, whack a blanket over your knees and settle in for this touching interaction between mother and daughter.

I was once seeing a guy who was friends with my older brother and my parents were not too thrilled about it. One evening I was on my way over to his place for the night and as I was about to leave, my mum -- without looking up from her knitting -- said: "You know he's just using you. You know you're just another notch on his belt." I put my bags down, looked her straight in the eye and said: "What about me, Mum? What about MY notches?? What if I'M using HIM and he is another notch on MY belt??" At that point I'm quite certain my mum wasn't sure if she was knitting one or pearling one and my dad, God bless him, developed heart problems.

You only get one shot at this thing called life, so you may as well have fun doing what you're doing.

Even way back then when I was a tee -- ahem -- young adult, it bothered me that it was all about the guy and his successful dalliances (there's that word again -- it's a shame I'm not planning on having any more children as I'm starting to really like that as a baby name) and the girl was automatically seen as the victim in the scenario.

Like I said at the beginning, I may or may not be in another 'real' relationship with feelings and dinners and a baby called Dalliance. However, if I'm not I will make sure that my decisions about any relationships in between relationships are based on what I want, because people, I'm not afraid to be a hero.

You only get one shot at this thing called life, so you may as well have fun doing what you're doing.

Oh, and my birthday is coming up... if you're wanting to know what to get me, I need a new belt.


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