It's 11km from the beach where a surfer was attacked.
No public displays of affection for these 30ft lovers.
Plain tap water is so 1999.
It perfectly captures the energy of nature.
A surfer was bitten by a shark in Ballina this week and, once again, culls are being considered.
Vulnerable people are warned to stay indoors when it's raining or windy.
The surf break is the site of several shark attacks.
No one predicted coral would be bleached so far south of the tropics and they also didn't realise how quickly it would recover.
Fish n' chips are coming with a side of chemical pollutants.
It begs the question: are they huge or are aquarium goldfish being stunted?
You can stop obsessing over eight glasses a day now, k?
Whale FOMO is a thing and we've got it bad.