Wednesday night’s episode saw Sam pick her final two suitors -- and as every
woman couple in Australia watching would know, competition is tight for those final dwindling roses.
BUT WHO COULD IT BE?
Amongst the conspiracy theories, paparazzi sightings and Instagram stalking, the show that’s already got higher ratings than all three seasons of The Bachelor Australia is killing viewers ever so slowly as the finale draws closer.
Now that home visits are out of the way, Sam knows the single dates about to take place this episode are tres important, so it’s crucial she’s in the right head space.
And like any true blue Aussie knows, a walk on the beach always clears the mind.
A central theme this season has been facing fears, and it would appear producers (and Sam) rather enjoy ridiculing grown men by forcing them to face theirs. This episode is no different, as the first date sees Sam set up a skydiving date with Sasha.
“I don’t like to think of myself as a sissy, but when it comes to heights I’m s****ing myself,” said Sasha.
Sam says that if he can overcome the dive, he can overcome anything. Deep. Reeeal deep.
Thankfully, Sasha proves to Sam the alpha male (and definitely non-sissy) he is.
Sam is having the time of her life.
“Sashie’s alive! What a trooper, I’m so proud of him,” said an elated Sam to her skydiving instructor.
While Sasha’s conversation with his instructor goes more like this: “Tell you what... this is a bit restricted around the old fruit and veg isn’t it!”
Meanwhile, Sam starts to feel a bit rough, and needs a lie down. All the adrenaline must’ve gotten to her head but it’s OK -- Sasha has her back, like always. They kiss. Cute.
Afterwards, they have champagne and cuddles while Sasha tells Sam he’s glad she stitched him up and that they got to face his fear together. Sam talks about how she doesn’t want to get her heart broken AGAIN (she’s sussing Sasha out haaard) and feels the need to tell him she “doesn’t have nice things”.
It’s kind of sad.
She tells the camera “I do know that my insecurities are my own demons that I need to overcome, and I think it will take time, but I’m working on it and I just hope that I’m with someone that enjoys me for me.”
Sasha being the
Disney Aussie prince he is tells her that material stuff doesn’t matter, as long as they have each other. Swoon.
Next up is the single date with Richie -- where Sam takes him to the snow.
“It’s so special to meet someone who makes you so happy inside and out, and for me, that person’s Richie,” said Sam.
Richie wears a beanie and it looks great. If he doesn’t get a rose tonight, it is a sure thing he'll get some sort of modelling contract with The North Face.
And because it’s The Bachelorette, they travel to Falls Creek -- in a helicopter. There's snowball fights, smooching and snow angels.
Later, by the fire over a shiraz, Sam is dying for Richie to let down his walls. But Richie is just too much of a Nervous Nelly -- his words. Once he gets past the stuttering he tells Sam he’s got “a big crush” on her. Hmmm.
For the third and final date, Sam takes Michael whale watching where he asks her if she’d ever propose to a man. Suddenly things get super serious.
“Definitely, but I’d only do it if I knew he’d say yes,” she said. “I’m all about women taking things into their own hands,” Sam said.
There’s an awkward bit where Sam is totally into the harbour view and (potential) whale sightings yet Michael is looking at how he can do calf raises while Sam sits on his lap. Then he tries to compare the pod of “strong” male whales to the three male finalists -- asking Sam, can you pick the strongest?
“They all look the same to me,” Sam replied.
They have dinner at an underwater restaurant and it’s getting more and more confusing because Sam clearly likes Michael A LOT -- but Richie makes her laugh like nobody else -- and she said earlier she wants to spend everything single second with Sasha.
IT’S ALL GETTING TOO MUCH.
“You know that you’ve found someone amazing when you can relax and not have to talk,” Sam tells Michael.
And then -- Michael tells her HE’S FALLING IN LOVE WITH HER.
It’s rose ceremony time and Sam has no idea who she’s going to choose.
“All I know is I have feelings for all of them and deciding who to send home tonight is tearing me apart,” she said.
BOOM. Sasha gets the first rose.
Michael gets the second.
Richie is going home. Weirdly, he doesn’t look that devastated but either way, he’s a good sport about it.
Looks like HuffPost Australia's editor-at-large called it early.