Kerryn Baird talks about her battle with postnatal depression

We’re sorry, this feature is currently unavailable. We’re working to restore it. Please try again later.

Advertisement

This was published 8 years ago

Kerryn Baird talks about her battle with postnatal depression

By Emma Partridge and State Politics reporter
Updated

Premier Mike Baird is willing to admit he was a "complete schmuck" who had his priorities wrong.

But he does so only in the hope it will prevent new fathers from making the same mistakes he did.

"I was a complete schmuck. I was terrible for a range of reasons. I didn't know what I was looking for," he said.

His wife Kerryn was looking after their healthy baby girl but she was struggling under the weight of what she describes as a dark, grey cloud.

Premier Mike Baird and his wife Kerryn  at a Gidget Foundation lunch to raise awareness about perinatal​ anxiety and depression.

Premier Mike Baird and his wife Kerryn at a Gidget Foundation lunch to raise awareness about perinatal​ anxiety and depression.Credit: Steven Siewert

She was suffering from postnatal depression.

And Mr Baird said he missed the signs, or did not understand them, and retreated to his work.

"It was just a dreadful response. And my reaction was just to withdraw and I went back to work because it was safe and I understood it and I didn't know quite what I was going to get when I came home," he said.

"I think because I was so absorbed in myself, that I let her down and I let my daughter down – I don't think that's a particularly proud part of my life but hopefully in talking about it I can encourage other men and women in similar positions to take the time to support each other."

Advertisement
"You do feel like you are literally in this black, heavy, heavy cloud." Kerryn Baird talking about her post-natal depression, pictured with husband Mike Baird.

"You do feel like you are literally in this black, heavy, heavy cloud." Kerryn Baird talking about her post-natal depression, pictured with husband Mike Baird.Credit: Steven Siewert

Mr and Mrs Baird shared their experience on Monday at a Gidget Foundation lunch to raise awareness about perinatal​ anxiety and depression.

Mrs Baird spoke about the intense shame she felt about not being happy and the many tears she shed behind closed doors.

Gidget CEO  Catherine Knox and Chairman  Dr Vijay Roach with Mike and Kerryn Baird.

Gidget CEO Catherine Knox and Chairman Dr Vijay Roach with Mike and Kerryn Baird.Credit: Steven Siewert

Simple things like doing the dishes, the washing and having friends over seemed like impossible feats, and she did not understand what was wrong.

"It really did feel like a dark cloud had come over my whole life – so things that I used to enjoy, I didn't enjoy anymore. Things that should have been very easy to do were very, very hard," Mrs Baird said.

"It's very heavy. Everything you do, everything you see just almost has a grey, heavy tinge to it. Physically it's difficult to do things, it's difficult to get up.

"You do feel like you are literally in this black, heavy, heavy cloud."

But the cloud was partially lifted the day she realised what was happening to her was an illness.

Perinatal depression and anxiety affects one in six mothers and it is something that can be treated with a range of measures, including counselling and medication.

"It was one of the more euphoric days of my life because I'm like, this has a name, this isn't me, this can be treated and it's just an illness like anything else.

Mrs Baird pleaded with mothers who were struggling to ask for help and urged them even just to tell one person they trusted, what they were going through.

"I think the problem is going to get bigger. I think in this day and age, this day of perfect Facebook, perfect social media, the need to have the perfect family, perfect children, to be the perfect wife – it's out there even more so."

Perinatal Anxiety and Depression (PANDA) national helpline 1300 726 306.

Gidget Foundation 02 9460 1550.

The Gidget Foundation is a not for profit organisation which provides support services for families suffering emotional distress during pregnancy and early parenting.

Most Viewed in National

Loading