If you haven't yet seen the undoubtedly forced and incredibly awkward apology video from Johnny Depp and Amber Heard, you must be living on some kind of remote island.
Ohhh wait. According to Heard, you are.
The 29-year-old actress, along with her husband Johnny Depp, issued the
incredibly sincere laughably awkward apology from their Gold Coast hotel while in Australia as Heard faced charges over bringing the couple's two dogs to Australia illegally last year.
Heard pleaded guilty in Southport Magistrate's Court to making a false statement on her immigration card about the Yorkshire terriers, named Pistol and Boo. She was handed a one-month good behaviour bond with no conviction recorded.
But the real punishment was the video, released by Australian authorities, which depicts both Depp and Heard looking very sorry for themselves while spouting their respect and love for Australia, as well as the importance of bio-security laws. Kicking off with Heard's solemn statement "Australia is a wonderful island", the apology goes from bad to worse, and of course, who better to weigh in than the ENTIRE INTERNET.
Of course, it could have been worse. In 2015, then-Australian agriculture minister Barnaby Joyce did threaten to have Pistol and Boo killed, after all.
Now the Deputy Prime Minister, Joyce is no doubt rubbing his hands with glee over the pair's international humiliation, even weighing in on Depp's acting skills.
"What I can say is although I don't think he'll get an academy award for his performance, the fact that he did it ... he looked like he was auditioning for the Godfather," Joyce told the ABC.
"At the end of it we've got a message that is going all around the world right now, it's going off like a frog in a sock telling people that if you come into this nation and you don't obey our laws, you're in trouble."
To Channel Seven's Sunrise, Joyce remarked: "As far as me directing this atrocious movie, no, even I could have done a little better than that.
"Do it again Johnny, do it with gusto mate, a little gusto."
Check out some of our favourite internet reactions below.
I hope the Australian government release Johnny Depp and Amber Heard soon. They are clearly being held captive in that apology video.
— Darren Hayes (@darrenhayes) April 18, 2016
Johnny Depp's wife is facing 10 years for calling a continent an island.
— Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) April 18, 2016
*A depressed Johnny Depp lowers his scarves to half-mast
— Mark Agee (@MarkAgee) April 18, 2016
A vine of what happens when you insult an Australian https://t.co/ibJfARscpd
— Mark Di Stefano (@MarkDiStef) April 18, 2016
As punishment Johnny Depp will now only play Crocodile Dundee for the rest of his career
— Billy Gannon (@gongfarmer) April 18, 2016
— Vic Berger IV (@VicBergerIV) April 18, 2016
children: biosecurity is lame, and bogus
barnaby joyce: heres johnny depp pleading for mercy with his eyes
children: YAY I LOVE BIOSECURITY
— thomas violence (@thomas_violence) April 18, 2016
when you skype your parents and dad still can't deal with you being gay but mum is at least trying pic.twitter.com/rmw8uqIG8I
— scott (@scottsues) April 18, 2016
This is legit Johnny Depp's biggest hit since Pirates 1. pic.twitter.com/4erwscATZJ
— John Johnsonson (@JohnJohnsonson) April 18, 2016
And, our personal favourite:
Good to see Amber Heard's IMDB has already been updated with her latest production. pic.twitter.com/mxWTsmfMGA
— Will Ockenden (@will_ock) April 18, 2016
As for Baraby's remarks? Here are some highlights.
Australia's Deputy PM on THAT Johnny Depp performance. https://t.co/ieflgmDKVV
— David Douglas Stuart (@bigkamo) April 18, 2016