These are some of the lines which appeared in the media over the last few days following a ho-hum sort of sevens debut on the weekend from the NRL star turned NFL convert turned Olympic hopeful.
But there's one brilliant moment which most people overlooked. The World Rugby Sevens Series didn't miss it. In fact, they loved it.
Hayne will have to undergo yet another physical transformation if he's to make it as a sevens player. To become an NFL player, he needed a more dynamic, explosive sort of fitness. Now he needs sustained speed and increased aerobic capacity. There are those who thought he was among the slowest players on the field on the weekend, but the vision above suggests otherwise.
No matter what the shape of his body, you can't deny the size of his heart. This was a great chase. Hayne threw his whole body at his French opponent and just got enough of a touch on his leg to ensure he spilled the ball like a buttery croissant.
Was that line about a croissant a cultural stereotype? Sorry, France.
Here at the Huffington Post Australia, we wrote last week that Hayne had gone from wide-eyed dreamer to code-hopping mercenary, and by so doing, become less intriguing. But if he keeps pulling off plays like this, we'll reassess.
There's something about this guy. Maybe he learns the tricks of sevens rugby and forces his way into the 12-man Fiji Olympic squad, maybe he doesn't. But the man is a trier. You've got to give him that. There's not an ounce of entitlement about him, even if some portrayed his code switch announcement and subsequent sevens debut in a less than positive light.
We wish him well.