This article exists as part of the online archive for HuffPost Australia, which closed in 2021.

How To Tie Your Tie As Fast As Humanly Possible

It takes just a few seconds, and you don't even need it on your neck.
YouTube

Why do we wear ties? What is the point? Maybe it's to hide our shirt buttons, to add color to an otherwise monochromatic suit, or to direct somebody's eyes -- as if using a phallic arrow tied around our neck -- down to our pelvis (that was a theory posed on a thread started by The Guardian a few years ago).

More likely, men still wear neckties for the simple reason that neckties just look professional.

And there are at least 18 ways to tie a necktie -- using knots with names like Kelvin, Nicky, Plattsburg and Grantchester -- and people are inventing new knots all the time. Take Dwyane Wade, for example, who ties his into tiny balls that he calls the Pat Riley knot.

This site lists 30 ways, each more ridiculous than the last.

But our favorite knot, especially if you're short on time, is shown by the famed YouTuber known as CrazyRussianHacker (née Taras Kul) in the video above. It goes from start to finish in about 5 seconds.

Here's how to do it:

"You want to put your tie in half ... grab the thicker one and put it over here and it's gonna be like a crest over here, thicker on the front, the tinier one over there. You gotta cross, and then grab it like that, you see. Make a loop and put it in your hand... Next, you just put it over your neck, grab this part with your fingers right here, push it through, pull it down this part, and then adjust."

Ok, maybe it's best to just watch the video.