Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 140-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!
I hate when they want food & there's no food & I have to be the one to go & buy & cook the food just so they can say they hate the food.
— Six Pack Mom (@Six_Pack_Mom) September 18, 2016
At this point, I've seen so many kids shows I can quote episodes that haven't even aired yet.
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) September 23, 2016
"........................................................................................................"
- what my kids hear when I talk.
— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) September 22, 2016
"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."
-Intro to literally every. single. day. of my life for the last 6 years as a mother.
— Jennifer White (@yenniwhite) September 20, 2016
My 9yo interrupted my shower to ensure I didn't "mess up Ariel's hair" because clearly I spend my alone time practicing mermaid hairstyles.
— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) September 20, 2016
Me: what will we hear at parent interviews?
4yo: adult words about me being smart. And maybe about not listening. I just have so many ideas.
— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) September 22, 2016
Other moms: Wow, how do you always find time to do your hair & makeup?
Me: pic.twitter.com/t8Hz9xH2z7
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) September 18, 2016
Another girl from 7's class has fallen prey to his charms. His endless jokes about butts and boasts of Minecraft dominance are like catnip.
— My Meh Precedes Me (@TheAlexNevil) September 21, 2016
I didn't have time to have my coffee before drop off this morning. Anyway. Hopefully I brought them to the right school.
— Lurk @ Home Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) September 22, 2016
Things that swarm:
-Bees
-Mosquitos
-Every single little kid on both teams in a peewee soccer game
— Charlie N Andy (@HowToBeADad) September 17, 2016
You know you're a parent when you're pleasantly surprised when you don't find any toothpaste stains in your sink.
— Doyin Richards (@daddydoinwork) September 19, 2016
5 minutes after a parent completes a LEGO set for their kid. pic.twitter.com/Cbs88X8PZb
— Andy Herald (@AndyHerald) September 21, 2016
Kids just spotted the new pup on Paw Patrol and they are losing their freaking minds like we're at a rock concert.
— Diane Huntington (@idtweetforever) September 21, 2016
- Trying to wake a bear from hibernation
- Trying to wake a 6yo for school on a Friday
Same thing.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) September 23, 2016
If anyone is on the fence about having kids, I just had to break up an argument about breathing.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) September 22, 2016
I normally struggle with dinner, but tonight it only took 3 simple ingredients to ruin my son's whole day.
— Close to Classy (@closetoclassy) September 22, 2016
I'm now telling my two kids that I DO have a favorite - but it's neither of them.
— Steve Olivas (@steveolivas) September 23, 2016
Having kids is like living with an on-line troll you can't unfollow.
— Papa Does Preach (@Papa_Preaches) September 23, 2016