Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 140-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!
I hate when they want food & there's no food & I have to be the one to go & buy & cook the food just so they can say they hate the food.— Six Pack Mom (@Six_Pack_Mom) September 18, 2016
At this point, I've seen so many kids shows I can quote episodes that haven't even aired yet.— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) September 23, 2016
"........................................................................................................"— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) September 22, 2016
- what my kids hear when I talk.
"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."— Jennifer White (@yenniwhite) September 20, 2016
-Intro to literally every. single. day. of my life for the last 6 years as a mother.
My 9yo interrupted my shower to ensure I didn't "mess up Ariel's hair" because clearly I spend my alone time practicing mermaid hairstyles.— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) September 20, 2016
Me: what will we hear at parent interviews?— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) September 22, 2016
4yo: adult words about me being smart. And maybe about not listening. I just have so many ideas.
Other moms: Wow, how do you always find time to do your hair & makeup?— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) September 18, 2016
Another girl from 7's class has fallen prey to his charms. His endless jokes about butts and boasts of Minecraft dominance are like catnip.— My Meh Precedes Me (@TheAlexNevil) September 21, 2016
I didn't have time to have my coffee before drop off this morning. Anyway. Hopefully I brought them to the right school.— Lurk @ Home Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) September 22, 2016
Things that swarm:— Charlie N Andy (@HowToBeADad) September 17, 2016
-Every single little kid on both teams in a peewee soccer game
You know you're a parent when you're pleasantly surprised when you don't find any toothpaste stains in your sink.— Doyin Richards (@daddydoinwork) September 19, 2016
5 minutes after a parent completes a LEGO set for their kid. pic.twitter.com/Cbs88X8PZb— Andy Herald (@AndyHerald) September 21, 2016
Kids just spotted the new pup on Paw Patrol and they are losing their freaking minds like we're at a rock concert.— Diane Huntington (@idtweetforever) September 21, 2016
- Trying to wake a bear from hibernation— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) September 23, 2016
- Trying to wake a 6yo for school on a Friday
If anyone is on the fence about having kids, I just had to break up an argument about breathing.— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) September 22, 2016
I normally struggle with dinner, but tonight it only took 3 simple ingredients to ruin my son's whole day.— Close to Classy (@closetoclassy) September 22, 2016
I'm now telling my two kids that I DO have a favorite - but it's neither of them.— Steve Olivas (@steveolivas) September 23, 2016
Having kids is like living with an on-line troll you can't unfollow.— Papa Does Preach (@Papa_Preaches) September 23, 2016