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It's The Perfect Time To Make These Wonka-Esque Shakes

Calories don't count on the weekend, right?
Monster Shakes by Vicki Valsamis, published by Smith Street Books

What's better than a regular thick shake? Shakes topped with doughnuts, French toast, cookies, oozy chocolate syrup, ice cream and cupcakes, of course.

YUM.

These Wonka-esque shakes are not for the faint of heart stomach. You need a good appetite for one of these desserts, and a serious sweet tooth.

If you meet the above requirements, it's time to try these four ridiculous thick shake recipes -- imagine red velvet, cookies and cream, jelly doughnut, and French toast and banana.

1. I scream for cookies and cream

Recipe from Monster Shakes by Vicki Valsamis.

"A classic diner treat monster-fied with chocolate doughnuts for your dunking pleasure," Valsamis said.

Serves two.

INGREDIENTS

Shake:

  • 500ml (2 cups) milk
  • 125ml (½ cup) chocolate syrup
  • 4 scoops cookies and cream ice cream

Monster your shake:

  • Chocolate ganache (recipe below)
  • 4 scoops cookies and cream ice cream
  • Whipped cream
  • 2 chocolate frosted doughnuts
  • 1 cookies and cream chocolate bar, cut in half
  • 6 cookies and cream Pocky sticks
  • 2 ice cream wafers
  • 1 chocolate cookie, crushed

METHOD

1. To make the shake, combine the ingredients in a blender or food processor. Blend until smooth and combined.

2. Dip the rims of the glasses into the chocolate ganache, reserving the remainder for topping, and sit upright, allowing the ganache to drizzle down the glasses. Gently pour in the shake and top with a scoop of ice cream.

3. Using a piping bag fitted with a star nozzle, pipe whipped cream over the shakes and around the rim of each glass. Top with the doughnuts, chocolate bar pieces, Pocky sticks, remaining ice cream and the wafers. Sprinkle with the crushed cookie and drizzle with the remaining ganache.

Chocolate ganache

  • Makes 310g (1¼ cups)
  • 250g dark cooking chocolate, broken into pieces
  • 80ml (⅓ cup) thickened cream

1. Place the chocolate and cream in a heatproof bowl set over a saucepan of gently simmering water, making sure the base of the bowl doesn't touch the water. Stir occasionally for 3–4 minutes until melted and smooth. Add any ingredients for variations into the mixture, if using, and stir until combined.

2. Set aside to cool for 10–15 minutes, stirring occasionally, until the ganache is nice and thick.

Variations: For white chocolate ganache, replace the dark cooking chocolate with white chocolate. For chocolate mint ganache add ¼ teaspoon peppermint essence.

Wow.
Monster Shakes by Vicki Valsamis, published by Smith Street Books
Wow.

2. Maple bacon French toast bananapalooza

Recipe from Monster Shakes by Vicki Valsamis.

"An epic breakfast in shake form," Valsamis. "Stack up your candied bacon, banana and French toast and then slather it all in maple syrup."

Serves two.

INGREDIENTS

Shake:

  • 500ml (2 cups) milk
  • 240g (1 cup) mashed banana
  • 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
  • 125ml (½ cup) caramel syrup
  • 2 scoops vanilla ice cream

Monster your shake:

  • Buttercream frosting (recipe below)
  • 1 small banana, sliced
  • 2 scoops vanilla ice cream
  • Candied bacon
  • Whipped cream
  • French toast
  • Maple syrup, for drizzling
  • Caramel syrup

METHOD

1. To make the shake, combine the ingredients in a blender or food processor. Blend until smooth and combined.

2. Using a spatula, smear the frosting around the outer rim of each glass then decorate with the sliced banana. Gently pour in the shake and top with a scoop of ice cream.

3. Place a slice of candied bacon on top of each glass. Using a piping bag fitted with a star nozzle, pipe a generous amount of whipped cream on top of the shakes. Top with a piece of French toast and the remaining bacon. Drizzle with maple syrup and caramel syrup.

Buttercream frosting

  • Makes 375g (1½ cups)
  • 125g (½ cup) unsalted butter, softened
  • 185g (1½ cups) icing sugar, sifted
  • 2 tablespoons milk

1. Place the butter in a medium sized bowl. Using an electric mixer, beat on high speed for five minutes or until pale and fluffy. Gradually beat in half the icing sugar and the milk, then the remaining icing sugar. Beat for four minutes or until the sugar has dissolved and the mixture is smooth.

2. Add any ingredients for variations into the mixture, if using, and beat for another one minute.

3. Use immediately or transfer to an airtight container. The frosting will keep in the fridge for up to one week.

Note: If you've pre-made the frosting and stored it in the fridge, allow to sit for 20 minutes at room temperature to soften.

This counts as breakfast, right?
Monster Shakes by Vicki Valsamis, published by Smith Street Books
This counts as breakfast, right?

3. Jelly doughnut bloody murder

Recipe from Monster Shakes by Vicki Valsamis.

"Oozing with raspberry syrup, this shake will have you screaming for more," Valsamis said.

Serves two.

INGREDIENTS

Shake:

  • 625ml (2½ cups) milk
  • 250ml (1 cup) raspberry syrup
  • 125g (1 cup) fresh or frozen raspberries
  • 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
  • 2 scoops vanilla ice cream

Monster your shake:

  • Raspberry syrup
  • 2 scoops vanilla ice cream
  • Whipped cream
  • 2 jam filled doughnuts
  • 6 mini raspberry Kit Kats, broken into fingers
  • Pink and red sprinkles, for decorating

METHOD

1. To make the shake, combine the ingredients in a blender or food processor. Blend until smooth and combined.

2. Fill two food-safe plastic syringes with raspberry syrup and set aside.

3. Line the inside of each glass with raspberry syrup. Gently pour in the shake and top with a scoop of ice cream. Using a piping bag fitted with a star nozzle, cover the shakes with whipped cream.

4. Place the doughnuts on top of the cream, stick in the syringes and decorate with the Kit Kats and sprinkles.

Best to share this beast of a shake with a friend.
Monster Shakes by Vicki Valsamis, published by Smith Street Books
Best to share this beast of a shake with a friend.

4. Red velvet revenge

Recipe from Monster Shakes by Vicki Valsamis.

"This shake will have you seeing red -- sweet, sweet red," Valsamis said.

Serves two.

INGREDIENTS

Shake:

  • 625ml (2½ cups) milk
  • 150g (1 cup) red velvet instant cake mix
  • 4 scoops chocolate ice cream

Monster your shake:

  • Raspberry syrup
  • Cream cheese frosting (recipe below)
  • Red sprinkles and red glitter
  • Sparkles, for decorating
  • 2 scoops chocolate ice cream
  • 2 cherry coconut bars (such as Cherry Ripe), cut into pieces
  • 2 red velvet cupcakes (recipe below)
  • Whipped cream

METHOD

1. To make the shake, combine the ingredients in a blender or food processor. Blend until smooth and combined.

2. Line the inside of each glass with raspberry syrup. Using a spatula, smear the frosting around the outer rims, then decorate with the sprinkles and glitter. Gently pour in the shake and top with a scoop of ice cream.

3. Set a piece of Cherry Ripe across the top of each glass followed by a cupcake.

4. Using a piping bag fitted with a star nozzle, pipe whipped cream into any gaps on top of the shake. Decorate with the remaining pieces of Cherry Ripe and with more sprinkles.

Cream cheese frosting

  • Makes 250g (1 cup)
  • 30g butter, softened
  • 60g cream cheese, softened
  • ½ teaspoon vanilla essence
  • 1–2 tablespoons lemon juice
  • 1 teaspoon lemon zest (optional)
  • 125g (1 cup) icing sugar)

1. Place the butter, cream cheese, vanilla and lemon juice and zest, if using, in a medium-sized bowl. Using an electric mixer, beat on high speed for four minutes or until pale and fluffy. Gradually add the icing sugar and beat for four minutes or until the sugar has dissolved and the mixture is smooth.

2. Use immediately or transfer to an airtight container. The frosting will keep in the fridge for up to one week.

Cupcakes

  • Makes 12 standard or 25-30 mini cupcakes.
  • 185ml (¾ cup) buttermilk
  • 1 egg
  • 125ml (½ cup) vegetable oil
  • 220g (1½ cups) plain flour
  • 145g (⅔ cup) caster sugar

1. Preheat the oven to 180ºC (350ºF). Lightly grease a 12 hole muffin tin or a 25–30-hole mini muffin pan, or line with cupcake cases.

2. Combine the buttermilk, egg and oil in a jug and set aside.

3. Sift the flour into a large mixing bowl and add the caster sugar. Make a well in the centre and pour in the milk mixture, stirring until just combined. Fold in any ingredients for variations, if using.

4. Spoon the batter into the muffin holes, filling each to about two-thirds full.

5. Bake for 20 minutes for regular-sized cupcakes or 8–10 minutes for mini, or until a skewer inserted into the centre comes out clean. Cool in the pan for two minutes before turning out onto a wire rack to cool completely.

Variations: For choc chip cupcakes, add 90g (3½ cup) white, dark or milk choc chips. For mini confetti cupcakes, top the cooled mini cupcakes with buttercream frosting and decorate with rainbow sprinkles. For red velvet cupcakes, add ½ teaspoon sifted cocoa powder, one tablespoon red food colouring and ½ teaspoon vanilla essence. Top the cooled cupcakes with cream cheese frosting and decorate with a raspberry. For mini chocolate topped cupcakes, top the cooled mini cupcakes with chocolate ganache and decorate with rainbow sprinkles.

Why stop at a red velvet cupcake?
Monster Shakes by Vicki Valsamis, published by Smith Street Books
Why stop at a red velvet cupcake?

Recipes from Monster Shakes by Vicki Valsamis. Published by Smith Street Books. RRP $24.99.

Monster Shakes by Vicki Valsamis, published by Smith Street Books

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