13/12/2016 2:29 AM AEDT

Amy Schumer's Gross Food Poisoning Story Was Too Much For Ellen DeGeneres

Amy Schumer appeared on Ellen DeGeneres’ show Monday and brought with her a delightful tale of love, Paris and food poisoning. 

Schumer, who is currently dating furniture designer Ben Hanisch, told the talk show host that she and her boyfriend decided to go to Paris for a romantic vacation. 

“Neither of us had ever been to France, because we’re both trash,” Schumer said. “We go, we want to be romantic, it’s an intimidating city. But we had one of those hotels where the bathroom, when you’re in it, if someone goes [Coughs] you hear it loudly in the whole room. You could hear everything. And we both got violent food poisoning.” 

The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo author said Hanisch got hit with food poisoning first, then described in great detail (and sound) how the illness “manifested itself” in her. 

I'm on @theellenshow tomorrow!

A photo posted by @amyschumer on

As Schumer mimed the machine-gun noises of her food poisoning side-effects, the comedian said she was sure the incident would end her relationship with Hanisch. 

“I knew it was over. I was yelling to him, ‘It was so great dating you, I wish you the best luck, you’re gonna meet a great girl,’” the 35-year-old said. “But I knew, I knew it was over. Who can get through that?” 

She added, “I was like the fountain on ‘Friends.’” 

Below are a few photos of the two during the incident, which occurred around three months ago: 

Thanks for everything Paris! Except the food poisoning. #nooooooooooo #balmain #nyfw

A photo posted by @amyschumer on

No red flags with this girl

A photo posted by @amyschumer on