Even great marriages are tough at times. But if you have a husband or wife to laugh with during those bumpy patches, you’re in good hands.
Below, 17 tweets about marriage that couples will relate to.
My husband just texted me from the bathroom and asked me to bring him "A LOT more toilet paper," so yeah, the romance ain't dead people.— Madame Mumsie (@MUMSIEesq) March 8, 2016
Wife: why are you breathing like that?— Jeff (@usermcuserface) November 29, 2016
Ahh marriage. When you can be questioned for continuing to live.
My wife set a limit on how much we can spend on each other for Christmas. It’s $100 on me and $500 on her.— Kent Graham (@KentWGraham) November 25, 2015
When one door closes, another opens. Then another five doors plus two drawers open, and stay that way.— Housewife of Hell (@HousewifeOfHell) November 21, 2016
-- My husband emptying the dishwasher
WIFE: you forgot to run the dishwasher again, didn't you?— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) November 16, 2016
ME: [drinking milk from a flower vase] no, why?
*wife wonders where I am*— Josh (@iwearaonesie) November 28, 2016
*hears every musical snowman in the store start singing*
*knows where I am*
you are so beautiful without makeup.— kauaibride (@Kauaibride) November 9, 2015
-my husband, after he saw i spent $62 on an eyeshadow.
Marriage is essentially peeing with the door open and asking "What do you want for dinner?"— Mr. Hook™ (@Phook75) September 14, 2016
WIFE: Don't waste money this month.— Floyd (@dafloydsta) November 16, 2016
ME: I won't.
WIFE: What the-
*penguins swim by in the pool*
ME: Don't worry Karen, I stole them.
My husband sniffs the air. "Do I smell cinnamon apples?" he asks, hopefully.— Jenn (@heyevergreen) October 29, 2016
"Oh yeah, sorry. I walked through a Kirkland's yesterday."
[hotel room]— Zack (@Mr_Kapowski) November 30, 2016
Wife: *laying seductively on bed in lingerie* "C'mere baby"
Me: "OMG. Get off that bedspread. The hotel doesn't wash those"
WIFE: Why do you waste money on useless things?— penjamin. 📎 (@upsidedowntrash) November 12, 2016
ME: [scraping the S and H off the side of my new School Bus] Maybe useless to you Sharon
I've never done a triathlon but I did accompany my wife to Michael's, Hobby Lobby, & Joann's to find the perfect autumn table setting.— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) October 16, 2016
My husband just told me that I smell like pee.— Madame Taco (@scoccaro) December 3, 2016
His charm is why we got married.
wife [sees me on the computer] What are you looking at?— Josh (@iwearaonesie) December 7, 2016
me [taking a Buzzfeed quiz to find out what holiday candle scent I am] Porn
95% of marriage is spent changing the temperature of the thermostat— 🎄Mattzilla🎅🏼 (@mattZillaaaa) November 27, 2016