Stephen Colbert Addresses 'Golden Shower' Claims Like A Whiz

When it comes to ranting about “golden showers,” Stephen Colbert doesn’t piss around.

The “Late Show” host started his Wednesday show by commenting on the recent dump of unverified claims about President-elect Donald Trump onto the internet. (Actually, it’s more of a “leak” than a “dump.”) The story everyone’s talking about is that Trump supposedly hired prostitutes to perform a “golden shower show” (urinating on one another for sexual gratification) in front of him in a Moscow hotel room where the Obamas once stayed.

Uh, what?

Colbert said the claims were unverified and he wouldn’t validate the report by talking about it, not even the “number one” detail.

Then, of course, he talked about it.

Colbert continued, “I think this is just an unfortunate ‘leak’ that’s making a ‘huge mess,’ and I know I’m being a ‘wet blanket,’ but reporting on this is the worst kind of ‘yellow journalism.’ Even though jokes about this story are a ‘golden opportunity,’ I just, I won’t do it, not to say the story didn’t make a ‘huge splash.’ It did. It ‘flooded’ Twitter. We’ll keep you up to date as facts ‘trickle’ in. We have our best researcher working on it. She’s a real ‘whiz,’ and one thing is for sure. The president-elect is a Goldwater Republican who truly believes in ‘trickle down.’ He has the respect of our emergency service workers who gave his plane a ‘water salute.’ Trump has even denied allegations like this before in the strongest of terms.”