The NRL starts on Thursday night and just like all those "experts", we have absolutely no idea who's going to win. We do, however, know which mascots are the creepiest. The answer? Pretty much all of them.
WARNING: This story contains content which will give your children nightmares, and probably you too. We'll start with one or two of the nice ones to ease you in. Here goes.
16. Timmy the Tiger -- Wests Tigers*
Timmy's almost cute. We'd let our kids high-five him too.
15. Bluey the cattledog -- North Qld Cowboys
An actual cowboy would have been super creepy. But this guy is loveable.
14. Scorch -- St George Illawarra Dragons
Dragons should be scary. This thing just makes you feel vaguely depressed.
13. Sparky -- Parramatta Eels
It's almost cuddly, which is saying something for a slimy mud-dweller.
12. Brutus -- Canterbury Bulldogs
It's more ugly than creepy, but the creep-o-meter is definitely starting to beep.
11. Storm Man -- Melbourne Storm
There is a word for this and that word is "dweeb".
10. Blade -- Cold Coast Titans
Looks like your average Gold Coast bouncer, and it doesn't get much creepier than that.
9. Buck -- Brisbane Broncos
Is that ridiculous pink hair tuft supposed to be a mane? Why does this horse have fur?
8. Rocky -- Sydney Roosters
Why did the Rooster cross the road? Because OH MY GOD, KILL THAT THING!!!
7. Claws -- Penrith Panthers
Not even cat ladies find this kitty attractive. As for the eyewear...
6. Novo -- Newcastle Knights
Make. That. thing. Go. Away. Now.
5. Victor the Viking -- Canberra Raiders
A viking with porn star mo' and white gloves. Uh-huh. Not creepy at all.
4. Egor -- Manly Sea Eagles
Why hang with the kids when you can chat up the cheerleaders?
3. Reggie -- South Sydney Rabbitohs
Man and bunny. Bunny and man. Cory Bernardi just had two heart attacks.
2. MC Hammerhead and Reefy -- Cronulla Sharks
Reefy's OK but the other guy must be turned into fish and chips IMMEDIATELY.
1. Tiki -- New Zealand Warriors
We need a lie down. This is disturbing on so many levels.
*This reporter is a Tigers fan, just so you know.