The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant ― but succinct ― wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week’s great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
Me on twitter: Burn the capitalist system— GABY DUNN (@gabydunn) March 14, 2017
Me on amazon: Check out my wishlist
Aisle seat: the tale of 100 butts rubbing against my arm.— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) March 16, 2017
Reminder to the ladies, here's a bar graph of what you owe men on the internet. pic.twitter.com/YxP3cwVRV0— Mallory O'Meara (@sexoskeleton) March 15, 2017
my version of self-destructive behavior includes lying on my bed while WebMd'ing in my towel & convincing myself i have incurable diseases— Taylor Trudon (@taylortrudon) March 16, 2017
Ugh. Fine.— Meredith (@PerfectPending) March 12, 2017
- Me deciding to do stuff.
my favorite hobby is complimenting girls— farwz (@farwzz) March 16, 2017
Trump’s asking Congress for $1.5 billion to begin work on the border wall. Someone should tell Trump that Congress isn’t his dad.— Chelsea Handler (@chelseahandler) March 17, 2017
Sometimes I go through my gallery of A+ memes and gifs on my phone and I wonder, did I save them or did they save me pic.twitter.com/okXZe8iJ0Q— Bolu Babalola (@BeeBabs) March 15, 2017
There is a guy at the gym who showed up, wiped down the machine his girlfriend had been running on for her, and left with her. *dream man*— Jen Doll (@thisisjendoll) March 15, 2017
Don't forget to turn your clocks forward to eliminate one more hour of the Trump presidency.— Kashana (@kashanacauley) March 11, 2017
Any dude on a dating site wondering why women are so bitter has never been on a date with a dude.— Emily McCombs (@msemilymccombs) March 15, 2017
I tried a new natural deodorant today pic.twitter.com/LxWgIWsNNP— Michelle Lee (@heymichellelee) March 17, 2017
I experienced a potato famine once; it was the longest night of my life.— 🎭ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ(s)🎭 (@3sunzzz) March 16, 2017
Narrator: Ursula ran out of vodka.
I'm not the Beyoncé of anything, but I'm the Michelle of like 7 things.— Krista Doyle (@Krista_Doyle) March 17, 2017
Is being extremely pigeon toed a trend yet because if so I've got some model castings to attend— Sam Escobar 👻 (@myhairisblue) March 16, 2017
All I want in life is for BBC Interview girl and Library of Congress girl to team up and solve mysteries pic.twitter.com/yQ9zOFeRv7— Karen McGrane (@karenmcgrane) March 15, 2017
People who absentmindedly hang regular-price items in the sale section, you're ruining this for all of us— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) March 15, 2017
No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don't want to go in the first place.— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) March 16, 2017
so weird.... hallmark didn't have a card that says happy bday RBG but actually NOT HAPPY AT ALL PLZ DON'T GET OLDER 😩— Jessica Samakow (@jsam1126) March 16, 2017
It smells weird in here.— Meredith (@PerfectPending) March 17, 2017
-How parents enter a room.
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