Australian Twitter. It's a thing and it's a treasure-trove of commentary, musings and hilarious reactions to the circus that has been 2017 so far. Here is a round-up of some of our favourite home-grown tweets from the past week...
Y'all making fun of Debbie as a cyclone name but that is my mum's name and j promise you she will fuck shit up.
— Rick Morton (@SquigglyRick) March 25, 2017
Neil Finn: Here are 18 songs about how much I love and cherish my wife
Paul Kelly: yeah gday this one's about a chick i rooted in a bin once
— Alex McKinnon (@mckinnon_a) March 25, 2017
i hate when ppl say Australians have no culture like um try again sweetie ;) pic.twitter.com/LLlnTOZrES
— Cook Suck (@CookSuck) March 25, 2017
Comedian *drops mic*
Sound tech "OMG find a less expensive way to punctuate a point, FFS"
— Alice R Fraser (@aliterative) March 24, 2017
I came to university for TWO THINGS:
and playing footyball
*puts on sunglasses* ....and I'm all out of kissing footyballs
— fungbunger (@parsfarce) March 24, 2017
So if I've got it right, Pauline Hanson believes vaccines are ineffective against disease but perfect for religions?!
— Dom Knight🤖 (@domknight) March 24, 2017
I love that he doesn't get that the name they gave him is "white guy" 😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/Tc5M8wJR6p
— Eb (@Ebswearspink) March 24, 2017
Pauline Hanson: "Islam is a disease we need to vaccinate ourself against." Confusing message for anti-vaxxer One Nation supporters.
— Tom Gleeson (@nonstoptom) March 24, 2017
compare the pair. same age, same income, same super contribution. his fund does not pay commissions to financial advisers. his fund does. pic.twitter.com/aVunASQvZQ
— the result respecter (@rpy) March 22, 2017
I'm not going to know what to think about the 18c Decision until Channel 9 has an all white panel discussing whether or not it's racist.
— BRIGGS AKA BIG SIGH (@BriggsGE) March 21, 2017
conservative discourse 101:
"difficult ideas" = let me be racist
"honest discussion" = let me be racist
"harsh truths" = let me be racist
— thomas violence (@thomas_violence) March 21, 2017
Small child: bye bye boat!
Me: fool. The ferry is not sentient. I suspect life will be difficult for you
— Dee (@figgled) March 21, 2017
in an enid blyton book he would be sent from london to live on a farm with his aunt and uncle to get some fresh air pic.twitter.com/9EZJEqHVEm
— Bec Shaw (@Brocklesnitch) March 20, 2017
[me at the cover band every Saturday]
PLAY SOME FUCKIN CHISEL YA CUNT pic.twitter.com/KQCFuchnFa
— Lucy Valentine (@LucyXIV) March 20, 2017
the jeans that don't do much for you but they're all you have pic.twitter.com/osQimUYaFR
— Kaitlyn Plyley (@kplyley) March 20, 2017
when you have to put the interview on hold a few minutes while your guest cums pic.twitter.com/Pqg9nNGbkU
— keen online poster (@jonathonio) March 20, 2017
I wish they'd hurry up and bury 18C. I'm sick of having to guess what Andrew Bolt thinks of black people and muslims.
— Tony Martin (@mrtonymartin) March 20, 2017
tonight, a very special episode of Q&A pic.twitter.com/WFp0oMF823
— the result respecter (@rpy) March 20, 2017
The year is 2060. The free world is in chaos. Zombies roam the earth. The Australian is still publishing 23 articles daily about section 18C
— Ben Eltham (@beneltham) March 20, 2017
you can name any rural town in australia and say "they've got a bloody good pasty there" and no one will ever challenge you
— nicole pitman (@burkes_backyard) March 20, 2017
theres heaps of ppl on twitter being like pffff that chicken isnt even big. who hurt you
— beautiful daisy (@civil_centrist) March 20, 2017
No you bloody idiots, look at its legs pic.twitter.com/Rq4LHyvJzL
— John Band (@johnb78) March 19, 2017
[me after letting someone merge because I'm a considerate driver who is mindful of others] WHERE'S MY FUCKING WAVE YOU INTOLERABLE CUNT
— fungbunger (@parsfarce) March 20, 2017
the right wing idea of persecution is people asking them to stop being racist - the worst thing they can imagine
— thomas violence (@thomas_violence) March 26, 2017
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